OUT
by The Swordslinger
Summary: Living with the two most surreal parents in the world, Naruto Uzumaki was ready to take on the planet. What he did not expect was five girls in his new school turning his life upside down. He'd enjoy life if his mother didn't force him to date them, and evil spirits and a magical tyrant stopped harassing the city. Life is never dull. Naruto x harem.
1. First Day

I OWN NOTHING

As a kid, W.I.T.C.H. was everywhere in my life thanks to my little sister and female cousins.

**X-X-X-X-X**

Baseball was a popular sport in Japan, as much as in the US. Naruto Uzumaki was a fan of the sport and quite good. Being a short blond boy of 5'2" of height, none would've thought he had what was needed to make it big as a baseball player, but he showed a lot of promise. The teen had a mop of blond hair which went down to his chin, sun-kissed skin, blue eyes, and 3 whisker-like birthmarks on each cheek adding a foxy appearance to his face. Slim and fit, he looked like a regular teen, but a pair of hair tufts akin to fox ears atop his head earned him a couple nicknames.

The coach turned to him with a firm if almost melancholic stare, "Come on, Naruto, this is your last day of practice with us, so make it count." He motioned for the kid to get to the plate, which he did.

"Don't worry, I'll be knocking it outta the park as usual." The boy replied and held up his bat. He was clad in a simple baseball uniform, a dark orange pinstripe shirt with a long-sleeved black t-shirt under it, white pinstripe pants with black socks over the ankles, and black shoes. His shirt had the number 99 on its back and UZUMAKI written over it in Roman letters. He tilted his black baseball cap to cover his eyes from the morning sun and smiled at the pitcher.

Giving it his all, he twisted his hips and with an echoing crack sent the ball flying, and made a mother proud beyond measure, "That's my son! Woo!"

Everyone heard the cheers of a redhead woman with long hair, light purple eyes, a white dress with a green front shaped like an apron, and her hands balled into fists as she cheered her boy. She was also carrying a pair of pompons which were orange and yellow to fit her son's colors. All around her people gave her an odd mixture of glances.

"Tone it down a bit please, honey," advised her husband, who wore a white and red baseball cap which barely got his wild mane of spiky golden hair under control, a white jacket, a black t-shirt, and black slacks. He had a foam finger which he made himself to cheer for his son.

His wife scoffed, "Our son's doing well in something he enjoys, of course I'm gonna cheer him up to Heaven and back!" she shot at him while the boy ran to the bases with a smile.

"Oh please, you were so nervous he'd miss any-"

"Lies and slander!"

As the two argued, the other parents gave them some space and Naruto claimed victory yet again. Once everything was said and done, the odd family of three walked to their car. Naruto had his bat slung over his shoulder and a sheepish grin. His mother put the pompons in her purse. His father gave the redhead the foam finger, which she happily waved around.

"My son is number 1, yay-yay!" she sang, her son chortling awkwardly.

"Mom, come on, this is embarrassing..." Naruto sighed deeply.

"Agreed..." his father grumbled with his head hung low.

"Oh, come on, K- Minato, he's a future super-star!" the woman corrected herself and narrowed her eyes at the two, "And no deal for you, young man. You've made your mom proud. She shall now smother a good boy and spoil him rotten... Wait, no, that'd be bad parenting, I still need to give you proper if not downright necessary lessons in life."

"Like?" father and son asked in unison.

"Getting a girl as amazing as me!" she beamed, giving them the peace-sign.

"Son...don't make my mistakes." The blond adult said.

"Hey!" the mother snapped.

"Mom, if I married a girl like you, I assure you my life would be too full of energy..." Naruto replied, both him and his father staring dully at the redhead.

"At least get yourself one who kicks ass!" she argued, pumping up a fist and pointing at her biceps with the foam finger, "Tomboy and proud would be dynamite!"

"Yup, if you're together, it'd blow up in our faces." Her husband quipped.

"And yet you love me!" she boasted.

"Can't I get a say in it?" Naruto replied, "I'd prefer a girly or womanly girl... One like you would be like putting two male Hercules beetles together and expect them not to fight."

"Fine, but as your mother I, Kushina Uzumaki, have standards." She hooked a thumb to her face.

"You married dad..." the son retorted.

His father raised a finger to argue, but couldn't, and after a second he lowered it, "I...I hate to say it, but that's a good point considering I am... You know."

"Silence, Kushina-sama knows what girls she'd settle for." Naruto and his father could only stare at the Queen of Tomboys as she acted like royalty, "First, I'd like a redhead to keep the legacy of my crimson locks...and she's got to be a bit weird, too. Two, I wouldn't mind a girly girl, perhaps a trendy one who is good with plants. As for fun and sass, you better find a mermaid. If you want cuteness and energy, find a pixie with an air element and make sure she's got pigtails. Hmm...perhaps a shy one would work if she's got an affinity for fire to light up the night when needed. Oh, I know! Why not a cute noble? Like a princess who is your age or a little younger and-"

"And you've given this too much thought, honey." Kushina had to be cut off by her husband or she would've kept going. "Let's get in the car and let Naruto think it once he finds a girl. Okay?"

"Fair enough..." Kushina conceded and the three got into a simple and worn Beetle, "So, kiddo, are you excited to go to a new world? Metaphorically speaking, of course."

Naruto smiled proudly, "I'll miss this place, but so long as I can play and kick ass, I'm good."

"I've done a good job raising a child to vanquish evil..." Kushina beamed.

The blond man let out a deep sigh, "Leave it to me to marry such a hotheaded woman and get a son willing to fight anything and anyone."

"So, ready to see Heatherfield?" Kushina asked as she ignored her husband and took the wheel.

"So long as you don't force me to date anyone."

"No deal!"

Father and son sighed, "Figures..."

Days later, after a trip across the sea, the family arrived at their new house. Everyone had boxes to unpack, furniture to move, and items to set in their new house. Empty rooms in a small apartment granted the family possibilities to picture how to set things up. After Naruto finally set his trophies and hid away a stash of magazines his mother would kill him for having, he stared at a baseball he got signed by Tatsuo Shinada before placing it on a small stand.

"I got to the States rather soon, now to make it big here." Naruto cheered and looked at his uniform, then put it on to examine his reflection, "Heh, I can imagine how cool I'm going to look like with an actual big league uniform. Maybe in the-"

Just as he was practicing swings with a titanium bat, Kushina called him from the kitchen, "Naruto, your adorable and loving mother is hungry! And there's no food yet! Do you want Chinese?"

"Sure, I want to see how authentic American Chinese food tastes like." Naruto cheered as he stepped out of his room with a smile, which flipped into a frown when seeing his mom grin, "Wait, you're..."

"Thanks for offering going out for food, son!" she handed him some bills and started to push him to the front door, "Get mom the best noodles in the house, make it extra-large, and get your dad the same and whatever you want. Get back safely and soon!"

"Ah, you evil woman, you tricked me!" he argued while trying and failing to fight back, she was quite stronger than she looked.

"Sorry, son, you should've seen it coming," his father said and took a sip of coffee at the kitchen.

"Traitor!" Naruto accused him.

"It's you or me, son, and I'm too lazy to care about sacrificing you." Minato said and lazily took one more sip.

Once forced out with the door shutting loudly at his back, the kid grumbled, "Ugh, they're too good at ganging up on me. This should count as child abuse..." Then he looked at himself and realized he was in his baseball uniform, "Ugh... I should've asked her to let me change."

Kushina denied him the opportunity, "Your mom's tummy is rumbling, feed her!" she yelled from the other side of the door.

"Mom, I still have my bat with me!" Naruto argued.

"Don't care, use it to get a discount if the staff is weak-hearted and give you free food if possible! If they got fortune cookies, then better!" his mom laughed at the end.

Her husband sighed deeply, "Honey, we need to talk about your standards..."

"I'm so staying away from dangerous women like her..." Naruto said under his breath...and the door immediately bolted open. "Oh shoot!"

"You'd be lucky if you found a girl as tough as me!" his mother roared while he ran off.

"Unlucky is more like it, you crazy woman!" he shouted back.

X-X-X-X-X

Yan Lin was what one would imagine an old Chinese lady to look. Short in stature, slim but healthy, hair still black done in a bun and a kind smile. She wore a traditional green Chinese robe. Keeping her hands clasped under the sleeves, she watched the slow day go by. Customers came and went, the afternoon sun carried a cool breeze, and a batter entered her restaurant. Pausing her thought, she examined the baseball player with an inquisitive eye. No doubt about it for the old lady, he was not a normal boy. However, he didn't look like he wanted to cause anyone harm.

"Welcome to the Silver Dragon, may I take your order?" she asked him with a menu for him to take.

Naruto adjusted his cap as he looked at the items listed, "Five meat dumplings, the special noodle soup, make that three extra-large, and three fortune cookies of you've got them."

Yan Lin noticed his accent, "Ah, your English is good for a foreigner... Japanese, right?"

Blinking in surprise, he nodded, "Yeah, most people back home tended to say I was American with my hair and... everything else."

"You'd be surprised what an old lady can figure out with experience." Naruto was motioned to sit, Yan Lin smiling softly, "Your order won't take long, be patient."

Doing as suggested, he sat down and watched costumers give him questioning stares while he held his bat tightly in his hand. No one approached him or tried to start something, which was good for a boy feeling humiliated due to his state of dress. He would try to get back at his mother later. For the time being, he had to fill his stomach before plotting his revenge. The woman was crafty, she'd never raise him the way he was if she wasn't quite cunning. Dignity and honor were on the line, he would get even with the redhead.

Someone noticed his bad vibes, "Boy, is that look sourer than grandma's chicken. Did you lose an important game?"

Giving his company a quick look, Naruto noticed she was quite cute. Pale skin, Asian features much more noticeable than his, and black hair done in two long pigtails which fell down her back. A slim, petite girl in stylish clothing which hugged her figure. She painted the perfect image of a hyperactive girl with her natural smile. By the looks of it and her scent, she was about a year younger than him.

"Tch..." clicking his tongue, he pulled down his cap to hide his face and looked away. He knew some person would draw attention to his uniform, meaning he needed further revenge on the woman who gave him life...but he could tell the girl would age quite well at a glance, "No, I was just shoved out of the house. Not like I had a choice with the monster in human flesh I call a mother."

"Sounds like a tough woman," she continued to try to talk to him, perhaps to kill time.

"You got no idea..." he replied and attempted not to check her slim stomach and thin waist combo. "Um, do girls in America dress that...colorful?"

"Oh, you mean this?" she beamed and spun around to show off her clothes, "Gotta know a thing or two about how to dress well to survive here. Fashion's a girl's weapon. But if you're not from here, then where?"

"Japan, a small island called Uzushio." Naruto admitted softly.

"Interesting, you don't really look Japanese. Then again, I'm more American than Chinese." She let out a soft giggle and stared at him curiously, "Perhaps that's why I felt like I had to talk to you. Like there's this odd aura around you..."

"Hay Lin!" Yan Link appeared, handing Naruto plastic bags with his order, "Sorry about that. I hope my granddaughter hasn't bothered you. I shall get you fresh cookies soon!"

"Not at all." Naruto replied slightly weirded out by the woman's reaction.

Once the women went to the kitchen, Hay Lin had a question, "What was that about...?"

"Nothing, just...I-I think he's too shy." Yan Lin coughed into her hand, "Yes, too timid to properly... You know, talk to a girl his age. It was obvious he had to put effort into it."

"Fair point..." Hay Lin whispered, "A shame, he looked quite cute... I couldn't really see his eyes."

"Possibly for the better..." Yan Lin muttered to herself. Quickly, she slipped into her own study and had to breathe deeply when opening a special box, "Hmm...no reaction yet. That boy didn't come here by using magic. Still...if Hay Lin's not careful or properly in tune with magic, she's a glance away from being tricked by that boy... Maybe I should..."

"Grandma, what are you talking about?" Hay Lin asked with a tilt of her head while her grandmother kept an eye on the batter, who sat with his hands holding the bat's pummel like an old man would hold a cane.

"Nothing!" Yan Lin exclaimed and closed the door to her closet where the box was, "I just wanted a little, you know...time to ponder what...what cookies to get that boy from before?" she asked with a nervous smile, "To, um, make it up to him for the awkward conversation."

"Oh, sounds good, perhaps I can share them with Irma, Taranee, Cornelia and...that girl Will..." her granddaughter paused as if struck by her own words, "Odd, why did I name her?"

"Nothing to worry about, just...let me think what we can get him." Yan Lin felt guilty for lying, but she could feel something beyond off with the batter.

Said blond felt that he had waited for too long, "What's taking them? Do they have to harvest the field to get the flour?" Twirling his cap around on his index finger, he waited for the elderly lady.

"Sorry for the wait, here are your cookies!" Yan Lin told him with an apologetic smile.

"Um, thanks, keep the change." Naruto told her and tilted down his cap to not look at Hay Lin too long or too directly.

"Wow, he is shy..." the girl said after he was gone.

Outside the restaurant, Naruto took a deep breath, "Tch, why am I getting so worked up over such a cute girl? But her smell and aura..." he tensed slightly at the memory and crossed his arms. "What the Hell is she? Only mom has such a link to magic, but that chick's a regular human...I think."

"So, now that my granddaughter is out of the way..." he heard the old lady talk to him. "I'd like to confirm a couple things with you, young man. First of all...what are you really under that guise and what are your intentions with my grandchild?"

"Hmph, do you think I'd spill my life story to a stranger, granny?" he asked calmly as he turned face to face with her, arms crossed, "And that should be my line. Hay Lin's not human...or so it seems."

"Answer me first, please." Yan Lin narrowed her eyes at the boy, "What are you and what are your intentions? Depending on the answer, we may have trouble."

"Sorry, but you're in no way able to beat me, even in your dreams." Naruto hefted his bat on his shoulder and gave her a dull expression, "Just know my family and I don't want trouble...and have what it takes to fight back if idiots don't listen."

"You don't appear to lie, but you are rather otherworldly, boy." Yan Lin stared at him for what felt like minutes while it was seconds, "Very well, I apologize for my rudeness. However, I have a favor to ask of you, to see what your character is truly like."

"And that is...?" he asked curiously, a good sign for her.

"My granddaughter and four other girls are about to end in quite an adventure. If you could keep an eye on them, make sure they return safely, I'd be more than grateful."

Looking her in the eye, Naruto let her words sink in...and simply raised the bag, "Alright, thanks for the food, granny."

Jumping up, he left her...after ascending all the way to the top of a building from which he leapt off to another! Giving Yan Lin a demonstration of what he could do effortlessly should keep her out of his hair, he thought. At the very least, he could relax with his parents, eat lunch, and finish with the entire unpacking ordeal. Or so he wanted to believe because he knew what he couldn't deny, what the woman said regarding Hay Lin had to be true. Meaning, five girls would be put in danger...and he'd hate himself if he didn't do a damn thing.

X-X-X-X-X

"Really mom?" Naruto asked the redhead at their doorstep.

"Just one picture!" she cheered and a flash from her instant camera lit up the hall of their building.

"Honey, you said that three pictures ago." Minato said with an arched eyebrow.

"Let me go, please, I don't want to be late... Wow, can't believe I've said that." Naruto ruffled his hair as he stood in jeans, black sneakers, a dark orange-shirt and a long-sleeved black t-shirt under it. He still had his baseball hat on, which he adjusted after the last picture and slung a yellow backpack over his shoulders, his titanium bat hanging on it from the side.

"It's your first day in a new school, let your mom feel pride." Kushina smiled happy with her logic.

"Pride is a sin, you know?" her husband retorted, taking a sip from his coffee before blocking a left hook to the ribs, "Please, like I'd be hit that easily." He smiled at his wife, who frowned.

"Okay, you win this round, Kurama..." she blushed and looked away, "Now, remember to..."

"Keep dad's real name a secret, keep the fact I'm a nine-tailed fox hidden, keep my ass out of trouble and keep all of this clean..." he motioned to his body at the last part.

"Yup, pretty much." Kushina said with a sheepish smile and kissed his forehead, "For good luck."

"Mom..." he groaned in embarrassment.

His father patted his head twice, "Shush and enjoy it, kid. Make friends and come back safely."

"And bring me a cute daughter-in-law, please!" his mother cheered falsely innocently.

"So, the opposite of you, then." Naruto cheekily told her before immediately legging it.

"You cocky brat!" Kushina roared out as her husband tried to restrain her with some effort.

Moments later, Naruto had arrived at his new school, "Sheffield Institute... Looks different than the usual." He was used to simpler designs for educational institutions, but it wasn't a bad thing. Rain, however, did sour his mood, "Good thing mom got me an umbrella."

Opening the collapsible umbrella, he stared at the institute across the street and the people there, gathering like moths to a flame. Recalling how humans could be, he breathed deeply and put on a strong face. His first step was immediately taken back when a car slowed down close to him. It had a mother and daughter inside, the latter stepping out. Naruto observed her short mop of red hair, cute backpack with a frog on it, and curvy body for a girl his age or younger. B-cups at the young age of 15 would drive most if not all teenage boys nuts.

Pulling down his cap, he tried to make as if he didn't see her, but she did, "Hey, um...something on my face or something?"

"Tch...again?" he asked himself, "That aura..."

"Au-what now?" she asked, stepping uncomfortably close to him.

"When did you-" he asked, but noticed a bus passing by, "Look out!" his shout put the girl on alert.

"What!?" she asked and got her answer when a wave of dirty rain water splashed the two of them when the wheels of the bus passed by.

"Just...that, sorry." Naruto shook his head, keeping his eyes hidden with the brim of his hat while he wringed his shirt. "Should've tried to use my umbrella but..."

"Well, you tried..." she said meekly and squeezed her own clothes to get the water off.

"Sorry, I could... I should have been quicker." Naruto replied and turned to leave with a sigh. "I'm a little under the weather, it seems."

"Hey!" the redhead called out to him, and he turned to see her hold up a box, "Uh...want a cookie?"

Pausing to process her words, he nodded and took one, "Sure." Naruto made sure to keep his eyes hidden as he accepted the baked good and nibbled it, "It's...good. Thanks."

"You're welcome... Name's Will, and I'm new here."

"I'm Naruto, and same..." he replied and the two found themselves in awkward silence. He tried to end it as best he could, "I guess I'll see you later, then. See ya."

The girl merely watched as he walked into the school, blinking, "That boy is so weird...but nice."

Inside the school, Naruto tried to keep up appearances and remain coolheaded. He placed his head against his new locker after putting everything he didn't need inside. Putting everything so far into a neat little ball, he observed the events and catalysts. Two cute human girls had an aura of power, genuine magical power, which he picked up. The resulting magic was strong enough for him to feel it. Two of the five girls the granny mentioned carried that...aura, the only word he had for it. And he had a long day of school ahead of him which he knew would let him meet the others.

"Something smells..." he growled as he shut his locker and was met with a long-faced boy with an arrogant smile, spiked up orange hair, and a couple large friends.

"Now that's rude." Said the obvious bully as he and his friends surrounded him, "Listen, short stuff, in these parts we don't take kindly to calling each other nasty things. You gotta respect feelings. So, let me introduce myself, I am Uriah and you should remember my name as the new kid."

Leaning forward, Naruto briefly looked around and then asked, "Is this the part where I'm supposed to pay?" he pulled out a handful of bills, "Alright, how much?"

"Whoa..." Uriah gaped at the amount of cash which Naruto flipped with quick fingers.

Counting the money, Naruto handed the bully some notes, "Alright...how's fifteen hundred sound? Spend them as well as you want to." Uriah smiled widely as the bills traded hands, snickering in joy.

The bully nearly drooled, "Pleasure doing business with someone actually smart."

Naruto was left alone, and only then he grinned, "Suckers!" the blond chortled holding the handful of bills in his hand. Rubbing his fingers over the notes they became a different kind of green, "Enjoy paying with leaves." He tossed the leftover leaves into a trash can and dusted his hands.

"Y...you..." he immediately cursed his luck when a girl noticed him with wide eyes. "How did you..."

She was downright adorable, painting a mousy appearance with round glasses, dark skin, black short hair with a lone short braid at the side of her head, and a skinny yet curvy body. Just bordering on a B-cup but with proportionately wide hips. And, to top it off, she possessed the same aura which the other two girls had. Something just wasn't right in his day, he assumed.

"Oh, this?" he chortled due to practice, and rolled a leaf on a finger, "I do it for parties, too." Flipping the leaf, it turned into a poker card, a Joker.

Unfortunately, the girl caught sight of his eyes, blushing, "Ah...you must be...the life of the party..." she looked down, as if trying to remain unseen.

Sadly, Naruto didn't know girls well enough, '_Did I make her uncomfortable? Crud, mom told me to be nice to girls..._' sighing inwardly, he handed her the card, then flipped it, turning it into a lollipop, "For you. Sorry for being such an odd guy."

Leaving her to blush brighter with a dumbfounded expression, he tried to make himself as unseen as humanly possible. Fortunately, classes started, and things went by relatively fast. It would be later that he could get to what he wanted, baseball tryouts. While those not into sports would groan just at the mere mention of tryouts, he was in it to have fun. Recess let him check out a flyer for those who were interested. He looked ready with his current outfit and with the bat in his locker. However, he already had eyes on him peeking behind cover.

"Is that the guy?" a brunette asked Hay Lin. Being thicker-bodied, she cut a fuller, womanly figure. With short hair, deep blue eyes, a light tan, a round rear and hefty C-cups, she only needed her smile to liven up a party. Or to tease a guy.

"Yup, grandma told me to be careful with him... I don't know why, he doesn't seem like the kind to have crippling shyness if he's here." Hay Lin answered with a nod, then knitted her eyebrows, "But he does have an interest in baseball."

"Really?" the brunette asked, gaining a dull look. "What a boring hobby..."

"Um, what are you two doing?" the spectacled girl from before asked the two girls hugging a wall.

The brunette smirked, "Checking out a cute boy Hay Lin may be into."

"Irma!" her friend exclaimed with flushed cheeks.

"Ah, he's...um, I met him earlier..." she tilted her head to the side, "He's good with party tricks, and even gave me a lollipop, but I didn't think that'd make you check him out."

"Cute butt and flirty." Irma commented offhandedly, "Say, Hay Lin, are you sure he is the guy? If he can strike a conversation with Taranee involving party tricks, there's no proof of him being timid."

"And that's just it, I think my grandma was lying and knows a thing or two about him..." the pigtailed girl replied firmly. "Also, yes, those jeans hug his rear nicely."

Meanwhile, Naruto hummed to himself, "And there's the fourth... These girls really suck at stealth." He mumbled before leaving, keeping his eyes forward before they shifted for a brief second to the trio, glancing long enough to get the face of the new one and leaving them fast enough to not look suspicious, "I'm now certain the fifth one will pop out sooner than later."

X-X-X-X-X

Inside the indoors gym, students put their projects together while Naruto walked around with the required level of boredom to show interest.

"There he is, the weird new guy." Irma told another friend of hers.

She was a tall, pale blonde girl with waist-length hair, a modest B-cup just slightly below Will's size, and a slim, well-cared body. Everything about her from her face with subtly applied makeup, costly clothes and air said she took care of her appearance. Curvy and slender, her chest indicated where she'd grow most in the future, meant to attract from the front rather than the back.

"On the short side, isn't he?" she pointed out with an examining look.

"Cornelia," Taranee scolded her.

The blonde shrugged, "I mean, if you're into cute guys, he's not bad, but I'd rather see him taller..."

"It's not like that..." Taranee mumbled with a blush, "Hay Lin says there's something weird about... What was his name again?"

"Oops, I didn't ask..." Hay Lin chortled, then thought hard, "I think he said he's from an island with a funny name... Uzu... something."

"Please, girls, if you want to get a new mysterious guy to notice you, you've got to play hard to get." Cornelia joked.

"So speaks the voice of experience." Irma shot back with a smirk.

"Oh quiet, you..." Cornelia frowned.

"He's looking over here!" Taranee exclaimed.

"Alright, get ready to wave awkwardly," Cornelia warned them, but noticed the blond wasn't looking at them but at Uriah and his group.

A sour look crossed Naruto's features as he tilted down his hat and walked to them. Someone was at walking distance from the broom-haired bully, Will. Anyone with little experience with bullying could tell what was brewing in Uriah's head.

"Hey, Will...mah!" he mocked her.

"It's Will," the girl corrected him.

Although, she saw part of the reason why he got her name wrong besides trying to mock her, "What the Hell is this!?" Uriah yelped as he noticed a shift in his pockets and pulled out leaves, "Oh no! All the moolah! What happened to it!? Where did these come from!?" he panicked to Will's delight.

"I think that's the wrong green," the redhead snickered while Uriah and his goons emptied all their pockets in search for cash but found leaves.

Taranee looked on in confusion, "Odd, how come they didn't notice that before?" she turned to the side and stared at Naruto softly chuckling to himself.

And he approached Will, "Got any more cookies?"

"Hey, it's you again... Naruto, right?" she retorted while they left the teens to stare in horror at the money which they never had become leaves bug food.

"And, between us, you can thank that trick on me." He proudly flipped a leaf in his hand, turning it into a five-dollar bill before it became a regular piece of flora again.

"Do you work a lot at birthday parties?" she asked curiously. "And, thanks, I mean it."

"Don't mention it!" he cheered with a smile, feeling good with his actions. "I live to make guys like them squirm. Anyway..." he raised a hand and waved, the other holding a cookie to his mouth.

"When did you-" she started in shock, not once noticing when he picked her pocket.

"See ya." Naruto left with the cookie half eaten already.

Finally, Cornelia spoke, "Okay, he's...pretty fishy..."

"If he got fishier you could call him an aquarium." Irma added, "Hay Lin, did your grandma tell you whether he's a con-artist or a thief?"

"Whoa, should you really jump to conclusions like that?" Taranee argued meekly, "I mean, he lent Will a hand, so...not that bad a guy."

"But he is odd, even if he's new here." Hay Lin added, "Or maybe we're seeing things. Perhaps one hot cup of tea with my grandma can help us relax."

"Or we can check out the guy and see if he's a womanizer playing with Taranee and that new girl." Cornelia replied, getting confused looks, "What? I'm not the only one who thought that, am I?"

"Well..." Hay Lin chuckled nervously. "It'd explain why my grandma was so cautious."

"Aw, he seemed nice..." Taranee pouted sadly.

"Welp, let's see if Corny is wrong, which she probably is." Irma smirked at her blonde friend.

"Hey, I'm being cautious!" she growled at the brunette, "Even you have your doubts."

"Guilty as charged..." Irma admitted with her eyes turned to the side.

Later that day, Will blinked as she followed Hay Lin and other three girls after Naruto.

A question was on her mind, "Weren't we going to Hay Lin's place for a snack?"

"Shush, we're checking out how much of a player this guy is." Irma replied with a finger to her lips.

"Um...did he do or say anything odd around you?" Taranee asked the redhead.

Hay Lin giggled, "Like hand you a rose and say sweet stuff like you make the flower's beauty pale."

"Wouldn't mind a cute guy saying that to me once..." Cornelia admitted.

"No...just... I've only met the guy today." Will replied, hot under the collar and growing increasingly flustered, "And what about you? Did he flirt or check you out?"

"We're here to find out." Cornelia replied, "Now duck."

All five hid behind a bush, peeking through its leaves to see Naruto walk down the streets with his bat attached to his backpack. Acting like he didn't notice them was hard. They were loud, stood as much or if not more than him with their colorful outfits, and no guy can ignore 5 girls in their mid-teens with growing yet already nubile bodies at a close distance. Part of him pitied them, but they had to leave him alone. His question was how to get them out of his hair. Perhaps do something so boring they fell asleep or...

"Hey kid!" a man called at him from an alley.

"Yes?" Naruto asked, and was flashed a gun.

"Come here."

"Oh my-" all girls clasped their hands over their mouths at the sight of a robbery, Hay Lin was quick to get her phone to call the cops.

"What's the matter?" Naruto asked calmly while the gunman kept him at range, hiding in the alley as people didn't notice due to the little to no traffic around.

"I heard some kids talk of a great trick you do, I just really happened to pass by, but it's you, right? You can turn leaves into makeshift dollar bills..." the assailant nearly drooled.

Naruto sighed and pulled out some bills, "It's a party trick, dude, I can't really-"

He was cut off when the guy cocked his gun, "And I plan on using that party trick to get some money out of the bank. I had like 50 bucks before getting this gun at the street from some random thugs. I am desperate, so don't think ab-"

"Sorry, if you really wanted me to feel scared..." Naruto drawled out, rubbing the back of his neck, "I would need you to wear a long red wig, and even then I'd still find a way to be a smartass."

"Why you little..." the man pulled the trigger. "Don't mock me!"

"Stop right-wah!" Irma yelled, only to cry in horror when the projectile flew from the barrel.

All five girls cried when the bullet zipped past Naruto, almost cutting his cheek. However, any shock or fear he had come from knowing where it'd go. The squad of girls had followed him and were about to try to stop the man. Getting behind him to try to scare the gunner put them in the line of fire! And the one about to get shot was lucky.

"Now I'm mad." Naruto appeared in the blink of an eye with his only weapon held singlehandedly, the tip of his bat on the floor before he swung it upwards, deflecting a bullet into the air and against a wall.

"Whoa!" Taranee gaped, feeling her cheeks grow hot while Naruto slung his bat over his shoulder.

"What in blazes are you!?" the gunner asked and fired again, three times.

Rolling his wrist to twirl his bat, Naruto swung from one side to the other, stopping or downright changing the trajectory of each lead projectile. Casually, he walked to the man, dragging his bat on the concrete floor. Cowering in a corner, the man attempted to aim at him again, but the boy was a lot faster. Seeing a nearby can, he kicked it up and smacked it with his bat against the man's gun. It had the desired effect of forcing him to drop the weapon by using pain. But he wasn't out.

"Ready to give up?" the boy asked him.

"Like I'd go to jail because of a brat like you!" the guy picked up a random lead pipe to try to hit an already skilled fighter, confirming once again how desperate he was.

Bringing his bat down, Naruto prepared himself when the man charged him. An upwards swing was all he needed to disarm him and send the pipe flying, followed by a strike to his temple to stun him. But he wasn't done. Readying himself like the batter he was, he took his stance and smashed both the man's knees, sending him back and falling onto his knees.

Bringing his bat over his shoulders, he prepared the final strike, "ORA!" he roared out and sent the man rolling back five times to an abrupt stop against a dumpster.

Everyone was speechless, even as he stomped the gun and broke it, "That was..." Hay Lin started.

Suddenly, Naruto FINALLY recalled he had company, "Oh crud..." he tensed, wincing as the mental image of his mother and father telling him what a mess he made came to him.

Before he continued, the Asian girl cheered, "...SO FRIGGIN' COOL!"

"Huh!?" he and the other four exclaimed.

"Are you like a superhero!? Do you have a costume already!? Want help with the design!?" Hay Lin was a ball of energy even he couldn't compare to.

"Um, yeah, so you now have to keep my identity secret or my nemesis will come after you!" Naruto tried to blurt it all out in one go and somehow managed with a twitchy serious expression. "Now, if you excuse me, I got to go before the cops get here and-"

"Oh, that's a load of crap and you know it!" Cornelia snapped at him, getting right on his face, "You outran a freaking bullet! What just happened here is out of fiction! You're hiding something and it is not as cheesy as the superhero drama!"

"Hey, he defended himself and also kept us safe." Irma argued, "I think we owe him this much... I mean, I think it was partly his fault for the whole leaf-money thing. Although, considering Uriah had a part on it, maybe..."

"Guys?" Will called their attention, making them turn to her and Taranee trembling in her arms, "I suggest we finish this off somewhere in private. She's...not feeling so good."

Naruto agreed, "Fine, let me tie this guy up before he runs from the cops." he used the lead pipe to do just that by bending it around the man's body.

After they lead the gunman with his broken gun and a sign around his neck which read "I TRIED TO ROB THE WRONG GUY AND HE WILL KICK MY ASS IF I SAY WHO HE IS OR LIE TO YOU OFFICERS" to explain things to the cops, the group left. Everyone arrived at the Silver Dragon, putting Naruto just that much on edge as he remembered Hay Lin's grandmother. Once seated inside a private room, a studio of the granny, all six looked at each other. Though most of the attention was on Taranee and her shaking form.

"I thought...that was it..." she admitted, then looked at the blond, "Thank you."

Rubbing the back of his head, he would admit a few things, "Um, it comes as part of the job."

"Your job is beating up hooligans like some vigilante?" Irma asked in disbelief, "Do you have like an actual cape and spandex?"

"Who in blazes would...? Forget it." Naruto groaned and rubbed his temples, "My parents are going to kill me if you five don't keep your mouths shut. So, please, just name your price and I shall try to get it with all my power."

"Really?" Cornelia asked, images of fancy and expensive dresses flashing before her eyes.

"Hey, this is serious!" Will scolded her.

"S-sorry, it was tempting!" the blonde yelped at the harsh treatment.

"Just...what are you?" Taranee finally asked. "That was no party trick, and you are not human... Are you? I mean, not fully..."

"Well, you're right on all accounts, but...I would have to explain my family history and...that's one long story." Naruto chortled to try to calm everyone down.

Will gave him a dull look, "We've got all the time in the world while we're waiting for our cookies and tea, and we can continue after our snacks."

"Fine..." Naruto let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding in defeat, "It all started with-"

"Us!"

"Mom!?"

**X-X-X-X-X**

And that's my rap!

Yeah, I suck for making another story when I got others in the making but trust me when I say I am trying to change that. If anyone is interested in aiding me as a beta-writer, you're welcome aboard and will have me to aid you with your fics.

And now... yes, the harem will include Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia Hay Lin, and Elyon. If something bothered me the most in the show it was Elyon's one-sided judgment due to Cedric and Phobos having all the cards in their favor.

Anyway, backstory to how Kushina and Minato/Kurama met and more of Naruto and the girls getting to know each other next chapter. Although you can guess what it is.

Swordslinger out!


	2. Meeting his Parents

I OWN NOTHING

Harem – Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia, Hay Lin, and Elyon. May change or shorten it.

**X-X-X-X-X**

_Long ago, in a distant land, there was an island where monks and priestesses trained through their entire lives to master the art of defeating the evil spirits in the world. Malicious specters born from a darkness beyond words harassed the land, devoured their cattle, possessed their loved ones, and brought endless chaos. One day, a girl was born to this line of opposers of evil, and she was born as the most awesome baby ever!_

Naruto's voice briefly cut the narration, "Mom, take this seriously."

_She was brought to life as the most kickass girl to ever roam the land. Learning to master what her family developed in years to face off against the greatest evils coming from the core of their island. Digging through rocks and crawling out of a cave where their leader rested. However, one of them was not like the others. Growing tired of their cruel ways, a legendary beast sought to see what the world of humans had to offer. In doing so, he met the young, fair, beautiful and cool maiden._

After his mother ignored him, Cornelia asked, "Is she always like this or is there a punchline?"

_Of course, being sworn enemies, the two fought tooth and nail for days straight barely stopping to gather food and water from the nearby forest. It was only because of the beast's birth as a creature of great power that he kept up with such an amazing, stunning maiden. Nights passed and none of them dared slow down. However, as they exchanged blows the two also exchanged philosophies, a true battle of will and morals... And yet one where the two had a lot in common, more so than they thought. Obviously, the inspiring and awestriking maiden didn't fall for simple tricks and flirting, so she made the beast see her reasoning despite him already being struck by her natural godly beauty._

**Beauty which in her youth she didn't have due to eating too many sweets as a young girl.**

_Hey, I'm romanticizing our first meeting!_

**The girl first met the beast when he was barely a cub. One whose family had been wiped by the other demons to force him to serve them. Naturally, as a beast of darkness, he was inclined to be a scourge to humanity, and yet he was compelled to rebel against his masters. Soon, once he met a surprisingly chubby but cute redhead who had dedicated her life to fighting evil, he was put to the test. Regardless of her appearance, she was strong. It was only because of his inexperience, a lack of proper training from his masters and the two's unwillingness to be cruel that they talked.**

Hay Lin was disappointed, "Aw, but I liked the whole fighting through days and falling in love bit."

**That happened. Ten whole days, in fact. Anyway, the more the two got to know each other in a seemingly endless battle that helped the girl slim down.**

_Although she could've dealt with him regardless of her chunkiness!_

**Yeah... Her coolness and ways of kicking butt inclined the beast to listen, but his handsome and devilish looks as well as his savvy and sly nature helped him win her over.**

Irma blinked, "Wow, and here I thought my parents had an ego."

_Long story short, the two kept meeting, taught each other ways to properly beat up evil spirits, and grew up strong enough to beat the main source of evil and seal them for good in the mountain. The cruel ghosts who threatened the islands were forever shackled to an eternity of darkness. And so, a happy couple was born._

Will looked at them with a hand on her chin, "Well, that was...cheesy, but cute. It still doesn't give us an answer of-"

**And then they had a son who they still try to teach how to face off against demons and the likes.**

Taranee raised her hand, "Mr. Uzumaki, sir, I think Will wanted to say how does this have anything to do with Naruto and...you two?"

Stopping their dramatic storytelling, Kushina looked at her husband and shrugged, "Do you want to show them your true form or should we let Naruto do so?"

"Wait, what!?" Naruto asked in shock, "Didn't we agree to never show that to anyone!? You can't just change your mind all of a sudden!"

Minato waved dismissively at his son, "We've had a lot of time to see who these girls were after an old lady came to talk to us. Apparently, she had to make sure you weren't tricking her grandchild or using demon powers to charm her and...you know."

"Ugh, no, what does that old lady take me for!?" Naruto grunted it all out in one sentence.

"We can ask her." Kushina said and yanked a rope she had been keeping behind her all along.

"Hay Lin, girls, I hope you're doing all right." Yan Lin said with her arms tied to the side, and then sent a glare to the redhead, "There, they are all here like I told you. Now release me."

"Grandma, what just..." Hay Lin started, then blinked when Kushina freed her grandmother.

"Before you say anything, once you all become a mother you'll also do this to any woman who dares to badmouth any child of yours." Kushina growled.

"And we explained things to each other easier this way." Minato added.

"Explain what?" Will asked, "Who are you guys? And what are you?"

Yan Lin explained, "As they've said, they are a priestess and a beast. Rather, a chi warrior from the now nearly extinct Uzumaki clan, and one of the rarest animal spirits in the world in human form."

Cornelia groaned, "And I'm a leprechaun, your point?"

"Oh, sassy...I like you." Kushina giggled, then clasped her hands, "Minato, Naruto, let us show this little group what we're capable of. And yes, Naruto, we are doing this."

"Fine..." the batter sighed.

"Like we practiced, kid." Minato said as the two pulled out a scroll each, bit down on them, and put their hands in a seemingly cliché ninja seal which Kushina imitated.

"Just stand back, old man." Naruto said perfectly despite the item in his mouth.

"What are you...?" Taranee started, then her eyes jumped out of their sockets when clouds of smoke appeared, dissipating slowly to reveal the two males in the room replaced by foxes.

Not just any kind of fox, though, "Do they have...seven...eight, nine tails?" Hay Lin asked.

"They're foxes!" Irma yelped and stepped back.

Where Naruto stood was a fox the size of a medium-sized dog standing on his hindlegs with bright golden fur. Minato for his part was the size of a horse, forcing on all fours. He possessed a dark red coat with black marks around the eyes. Blue eyes became a deep red with slits. Both father and son had nine swishing tails behind them. For her part, Kushina walked forward, a set of ethereal golden chains floating around her with sharp bladed tips. Not as impressive but still surprising.

"My husband is a kitsune, a fox spirit, and quite powerful." Naruto's mother explained, "Obviously, our son wasn't going to be normal when he was born, but he's still the child who grew inside me and who shares my blood and my man's."

Patting her son's head affectionately didn't make things easier to digest for Will, "Are you...Is there a... Why...? How...?"

"Is that what you really look like?" Cornelia asked with wide eyes, unsure of whether to be shocked or coo at how cute the yellow fox looked. "I mean, your mom..."

"We can keep either form no problem." Naruto's voice came from the small yellow fox, his baseball cap still on, "Being a fox is as easy to me as being a boy like any other human."

"Do you see how big I am?" Minato started, "Did you think I'd-"

"No, no, stop! No mental images, please!" Will begged, plugging her ears with her fingers while the other girls looked as traumatized.

Kushina narrowed her eyes accusingly at the quintet, "Please, I did find him cute as a fox, but I prefer my men human, blond and fit."

"Sorry..." all girls said as they looked down.

"Anyway, yes, I can either be a spirit or a human, like changing from a caterpillar to a butterfly, but a lot easier and also in reverse!" Naruto explained to drop the subjects of his parents' activities.

Taranee found a better topic, "Wait, so you guys hunt evil spirits?"

"Yup." Naruto replied, "We're quite good at it. Us being spirits makes it easier to purify others."

"How, like, an exorcism?" Irma asked with a baffled expression.

Minato nodded, "Yes...though my wife and I tend to punch, kick, tie up and claw most... Okay, all of the time. By the way, in this form, my real body, I was known as Kurama... A name I left behind after breaking free from my former master's chains."

"You're now shackled to mom." Naruto quipped with a smug expression tugging his muzzle.

"Why you..." his father bared his sharp teeth.

"Enough." Kushina said as the chains returned to her back, "Anyway, girls, you're seeing something I know is a lot to take in, but there is a reason we shared it with you... After making the old lady here tell us what makes you so special."

Her beaming smile didn't make anyone drop the problem, "You still kidnapped my grandmother." Hay Lin pouted cutely.

"Eh, details." Kushina waved her off with a laidback smile, "So, you're all magical guardians, right? Any of you open for dating a strong, powerful foxy boy who's good at dealing with evil?"

"Mom!" Naruto snapped his fanged jaws at her.

His mother felt offended, "What!? I want grandkids in the foreseeable future!"

Irma rubbed her forehead as she and the other girls grunted, "Lady, you've got issues and..." There was a pause as Kushina's words finally sunk in, "Wait, rewind... Guardians? Us?"

"You didn't know?" the three Uzumaki's asked in surprise, turning to the elderly woman.

"Don't blame me, you kidnapped me before I could even explain." Yan Lin frowned.

"Oh, so newbies..." Kushina said, gaining a glint to her eyes neither of the foxes liked, "Say, what if a priestess who's dedicated her life to vanquish evil and kicks a copious amount of bad guy butt is a little nice to you girls and teaches you in the ways of being a badass girl? Also, you will get to train with her cute and available son for the little price of nothing!"

Will raised a finger, pointing at her with shock, "Wait, who said we wanted to join you in your little... magic show!?"

"It's no show, unfortunately." Yan Lin said with a sigh, producing an old Chinese box, "And fate isn't kind enough to let you decline this..."

"What's in the box, grandma?" Hay Lin asked, making her grandmother sigh.

"Your destiny... Oh man, I got tingles saying that." Kushina excitedly told her.

"Another story?" Hay Lin asked in disbelief, but it was her grandmother's turn to start.

"Let me show you, girls." Everyone watched as she held a finger out. A spiral formed in front of the girls, taking the form of several planets circling a star. All the girls gasped in shock, especially Will.

"Holy cheese and crackers!" Will thought out loud.

"Cute..." Kushina muttered under her breath.

"The Universe was once a single kingdom, ruled by good. But evil began to take root." Yan Lin started the story. As Will and the girls listened in, Minato continued with his tail pointing at one world.

"Evil from man's heart brewed and took form. Spirits were born from evil intentions, although the sadness and sorrow that created them gave a rare few some humanity."

Kushina continued, "Of course, there was a need to purify their evil through any means necessary, but the sources couldn't be easily sealed off. Desperate measures were taken."

"A veil was created to isolate the evil kingdom of Meridian from all other worlds." Yan Lin continued and pointed to a dark ball planet which covered the sun in an eclipse. "Without the protection of the veil, every world, including Earth, was in terrible danger."

"It's not the only world where evil bounds, though." Kushina said, "Sure, it's a source of evil, but it is not the source of all evil. Portals are constantly made by either evil spirits or dumb humans, and it is my family's duty to find ways to seal them properly and purity all evil spirits."

"And this is where we could use your help, Uzumaki Clan." Yan Lin told them seriously, "Meridian has been overtaken by a powerful being known as Phobos. But he is not the legitimate ruler, the people of that kingdom believe the true heir to the throne is somewhere here on Earth."

Irma had a question, "No offense, but...how do two foxes and a kickass priestess do all that stuff?"

Naruto answered her, arms crossed, "Like any magical related thing, there are rituals or items which help seal or purify evil spirits which also help with portals..." He paused to look to the side and rub the back of his head, "Our method's the direct beat-'em-up type, though."

"It's worked for generations!" Kushina pumped a fist up with pride saying that.

"Guardians like them have existed, special people with extraordinary gifts. It is their job to keep the portals closed with their powers." Yan Lin said, and with a snap, the room was back to normal, much to the girls' relief. "I was a Guardian when I was your age. But now the duty has passed to you."

Every girl looked astonished, and Naruto could tell at a glance, "You're still having trouble getting your heads wrapped around this, aren't you?"

"There's seeing your little magic trick and then there's this..." Taranee pointed out. "How can we just accept this out of the blue?"

"You're born into it without a choice." Naruto replied with a shrug, "It sucks, but you grow to see what part your own self is and what is your birth quirk... Does that make sense?"

"Pretty much, son." Minato added, "Although, in my case, I had the choice to not be a servant. You girls are pretty much forced to do this..." he clicked his tongue and glared at Yan Lin.

"It wasn't easy accepting of it, either, but what other choice does the world have?" she argued.

"Letting them make their own choice." Minato replied.

"I'm with the giant red fox..." Cornelia said, "Why do we have to do this?"

"Well..." Will said uneasily, "If we don't, who else?"

"You should still be given an option." Minato argued.

Kushina sighed, "True, honey, but there are times the world can't allow itself choices for the greater good... Then again, that's my clan's old motto, so take it with a grain of salt."

"Unfortunately, it's been dictated by this... The Heart of Kandracar." Yan Lin reached into the box she set on the table. The girls watched as she pulled out a necklace with a pink glowing orb. "This ancient artifact contains all the elemental forces of nature."

Kushina took a jab at the thing, "And, like old crazy gods who saw human lives end rather quickly due to evil lurking around, they handed it to young people to maybe make sure they'd live long enough to keep other humans alive, right? Or am I close enough."

Yan Lin looked away, "It is a sad truth, yes. Life expectancy was far shorter in the times spirits and Guardians were common."

"Why not change the age thing?" Cornelia asked in exasperation.

All Uzumaki clan members plus Yan Lin replied in unison with a sigh, "Magical gods tend to be lazy jerks." Kushina added her own two cents, "At least you weren't born or chosen by the Greek Gods. Good thing they'll rot forever in Tartarus... Zeus was a creep."

Taranee spoke next, "I know my Greek mythology enough to be grateful of...wait, we're getting off-track." She was shocked at wanting to continue.

Yan Lin took it from there, "I assume you've all experienced unusual events lately, right?"

"Does this not count?" Irma asked, to which Kushina giggled.

"Hmm, decisions, decisions..." the mother mumbled under her breath.

"I'm entrusting your training in your powers to Kushina and her family." Yan Lin said, "Despite our first impressions, we are both women who want the safety of this world."

"Wait, what!?" the girls and Naruto asked.

"You didn't think I'd offer just like that, did you?"

"Yes, I did." Naruto replied dully.

"Oh shush, besides, the more help we get with evil spirits, the better."

Cornelia finally stood up, "Well, this has all been fun, but as far as magic tricks go, this one has gone for far longer than I'm comfortable with. So...have a nice day." She waved and made her way to the door. One second flat later, she was pulled back by a red tail, "Oh come on!"

"Hmm, we may have to work on the attitude." Kushina commented offhandedly.

"So...any tips?" Hay Lin asked the yellow fox.

His reply answered all questions, "Be on your guard and fear everything she does and says."

X-X-X-X-X

Will set her backpack down with the others, standing underneath the bridge into Heatherfield. The Uzumaki family followed them with Kushina looking proud. Naruto and Minato had obviously returned to their human forms, although Naruto took a quick trip to his room for a fast change into his baseball uniform. His father merely rolled around a shoulder while still wearing his white jacket.

"Alright, so long as we remain under the bridge, we can use this for our first session." Kushina said.

Naruto was doing some stretches with his bat, which Irma had to comment on, **"**Is baseball like some sort of super sport to channel magic?" then she paused, "That'd explain why it's so popular when it's so boring."

"Nah, I'm just comfortable fighting like this..." he said with his bat on his back, his arms hooked on it to arch his back while he stretched his legs. "Also, I fight a lot better with this."

"You know I still think this is a load of crap." Cornelia said, causing Will to roll her eyes.

"After seeing a man and a boy turning into foxes, a woman summoning magic chains, and this trinket showing us a picture of the universe?" Will asked rhetorically with the Heart in hand.

Kushina beamed, "Oh, you girls and I will get along."

Father and son exclaimed as one, "That's another reason we're here!"

"No offense to anyone, but this is not something to give anyone confidence." Cornelia said.

Hay Lin stepped forward, "Still, we've gotten this far, may as well try. Also, cool magic powers and getting to design cool hero costumes sounds amazing and fun!"

"Let's see what magic this thing has." Will said as she put the necklace on. Instantly, it started glowing brighter than it was before and the red-haired girl was floating.

Minato looked up with a blank expression, "Note to self: find a more deserted place for this..."

Will screamed, "Hey, if you're our teachers, teach me how to stop this!

Suddenly, the other girls were also floating in the air, each one surrounded by a differently colored aura. Hay Lin was covered by the wind in a sphere of air. Irma was surrounded by water in an orb. The same with Taranee, but hers was fire. Cornelia was cocooned by green energy. And Will was encapsulated by the pure aura of the Heart.

Naruto readied his bat while Minato cracked his knuckles and Kushina summoned her chains, "Let us greet them the Uzumaki way." The mother said with a smirk.

After a few moments, the girls broke out of their spheres, getting a good look at themselves when they landed on the ground. Each one looked like an adult. Will noticed the attires they wore, hers had green striped pants, a green skirt, and a purple shirt which covered her stomach.

"Holy cow." Will gasped, staring at herself.

Kushina whistled with wide eyes,"Not bad, although the outfits are questionable. Hmm... If that's what they'd be as adults, what would my grandkids look like?"

"Dad, please have a talk with her later." Naruto pleaded with a groan of embarrassment.

"Like she'd listen to me, son." Minato grumbled with his head lowered.

Will looked at the others. Irma wore the same as she did, but her shirt was light green while her skirt was purple. Taranee had green striped leggings and a short-sleeved shirt, and her hair had six long braids standing out. Cornelia wore a long bottom dress where her pants begun with a slit revealing one of her legs. Hay Lin had the exact same, but her outfit left little to the imagination.

"I cannot imagine your grandma wearing that." Irma said, pointing at Hay Lin's dress.

Hay Lin was about to make a comment about it when she noticed something on her back, "What do we got behind us?" she asked upon seeing butterfly wings.

Will and the rest realized they all had wings, although Naruto had to point out, "Learn to use them or you'll be in trouble."

"We got wings!" Cornelia snapped at him, "How do you expect us to just get used to this!?"

"They can't be wings, if they were wings when we went like this we be-" Will tried to move her wings, which did respond. She screeched as she started flying in the air. Hay Lin tried to give it a try, but unlike Will, she sky rocketed into the air.

"WOO-" Hay Lin's excited yell was halted when a golden chain wrapped around her legs and pulled her back down, "HOO!?" her scream continued, but it was a terrified one.

Will also found Kushina's chains coiled around her ankles, getting her down. Taranee trembled as a sweetly smiling redhead approached the five girls. Minato merely rolled around his neck to crack a couple joints into place. Naruto for his part hefted his bat on his shoulders and adjusted his cap so it shadowed his eyes, giving the girls a view of his blue orbs under the darkness.

"Girls, remember, we are here to train." Kushina said calmly.

Minato nodded, "Yan Lin said you all had your elements, so to assess your powers, you each will get paired with one of us to see what you can do." He then pointed at Will, "You, however, are going to get a special regime."

"Um...who goes first?" Taranee asked shakily.

"Thanks for volunteering!" Kushina beamed, yanking her forward without giving her time to react.

"Wait, what!?" the poor spectacled girl exclaimed, shaking like a leaf.

"Naruto, go first." Minato instructed him.

"Wow, you really want to make me feel bad, don't you?" his son bared his teeth at him, then let out a sigh, "Ugh... Let's get this over with."

His mom didn't help things, "Come on, Naruto, she's shy, cute, and looks really smart, be sweeter!"

Groaning, he stepped in front of Taranee and held his bat up, "Alright, let's do this. Don't worry, I can take it..."

Minato nodded, "Taranee, right? We've seen your element is fire. Try summoning your intention to run and focus that negative emotion into a ball. Make it form between your hands...and let it out. I mean, really, just think how much you don't want to be here and shoot it out to get it done."

"Okay, that sounds...easy enough..." Taranee mumbled, shaking her hands up and down, "Focus... I don't want to be here... I'd rather be reading for that pop quiz next week..." Sure enough a fireball formed in her hands...getting an instant reaction from her, "Ah, I forgot I hate fire!"

She launched it at Naruto, who swung, "URYA!" he spun his hips and blasted the fire, dispelling it!

"I...I think I'm good..." Taranee said after falling flat on her butt.

"Good enough for a first try." Kushina said with a smile, "Next up, Irma, try hitting on my boy."

While Naruto grunted, the brunette smirked, "Don't complain if I rock his world."

"Oh goodness, no, not another Kushina..." Minato winced while Naruto nearly whimpered.

"So, I think I know what I have..." she said and moved her hands to the water, raising them as she made a pillar...and then threw it at Naruto!

He was mildly surprised, "Huh, didn't think it'd be that."

Hay Lin grew alarmed, "Naruto, d-dodge it!" she exclaimed when seeing the water get too close to him, ready to send him flying to the other side of the ocean.

And then he jumped and ran up the water! "Is he really..." Cornelia started in disbelief, seeing him take long skips over the water with his body leant forward.

"Whoa!" Irma exclaimed when he landed next to her after a jump, his hat placed at her neck like a blade would if he were an enemy swordsman.

"Not bad, just don't think I'm without my tricks." Naruto smiled at her.

"That's my boy!" Kushina cheered. "Next up... Hmm... I like your sass, so step up, Blondie."

"It's Cornelia." Naruto's next opponent said, and she noted the problem, "And didn't you say we'd all get paired with one of you?"

"Indeed, you're paired with my son since he also needs to train." Kushina answered, "Besides, he's a lot less harmful when compared to his parents... Heheheh..."

Her awkward chuckle made the team sweat nervously, Minato pinching the bridge of his nose, "We could try and spar with you girls, but it'd be...well, calling it one-sided wouldn't do it justice." As if to make his point, he casually punched the ground, like he quickly wanted to pick up his wallet.

The result was a crater the size of a small pool! "Got it! Thanks for taking it easy on us!" Cornelia sheepishly answered while the other girls shook nervously. To think Kushina was as strong as him and that Naruto was their son, was still green behind the ears compared to them, and could keep up with the Guardians really put into perspective a lot of things.

"Judging by your aura, I'd say earth is your element." Kushina assumed easily, "Good, it means you got power over the ground, rocks, and flora, right? If so, go ahead and attack my son."

"The fact you're smiling doesn't make it easy, lady..." Cornelia grumbled. "Still, I just want to get all of this over with." Bringing up her hand, she slammed it down like she saw Minato do.

Naruto was prepared and observed and felt the ground quake before shards of it flew at him, "Not bad." He said casually and spun his bat in one hand.

Then, he took a pose akin to a samurai in battle. Bat held parallel to the ground with his hands next to his head, legs spread, and the tip of his weapon aimed forward. Cornelia saw once again the fast moves which deflected bullets but multiplied by a dozen. For Naruto his titanium bat was as blade.

A blunt blade which swatted aside all debris in seconds, "Whoa!" Hay Lin cheered, then held up her hand like a little girl, "Me next, me next! Please!"

"Sure!" Kushina replied with a beaming smile.

"Wait, are you serious!?" Cornelia asked while Hay Lin flew forward.

"Yup, I feel like the wind's real good around him, if that makes sense!"

The batter took his pose as if he were in a game, "All right, but don't get comfy just yet, remember my tip when it comes to my mother and her teachings."

Flying forward, zipping through the air lightning fast, Hay Lin circled Naruto, "I know, but I also want to fly! It's so much fun!" she cheered and soon the kitsune boy realized her trap.

Kushina whistled in awe, "Huh, bubbly but very smart... Why does my son have so many wonderful potential wives?" her husband gave her a dull look.

"And now...fly away!" Hay Lin cheered and soon Naruto was blasted into the air, going straight for the underside of the bridge.

He would've smacked on it face-first had he not rolled up into a ball, planted his feet on it, and leapt back down! Hay Lin paled as she saw him with his bat reared back, closed her eyes and waited for a strike. What she got was Naruto landing in front of her, turn around, and walk away with his bat slung over his shoulders. Hay Lin took a deep breath when hearing him walk away.

Kushina smiled warmly, "Don't be afraid, girls, we're assessing you, not fighting."

"Thank goodness..." Hay Lin sighed.

"So... Fire, Water, Earth and Wind..." Naruto listed them off, "What's left? Lightning?"

Will blinked, "Maybe? I don't know. What did you mean special training regime, Mr. Uzumaki?"

"You're more of a support fighter." Minato explained, "However, we can't have you rely on others all the time for battle. Meaning..." he looked at his wife who smiled devilishly, bit back a grunt and looked at the redhead and his son, "I've got to push you into shape."

"Beg...pardon?" Will asked, the crater a reminder of what he could do, and she was afraid.

"Naruto, help her." Minato said as he stepped forward, "In fact, help all of them..."

"Hey, old man, what gives!?" Naruto asked and got on guard with his bat held up.

"I'm not using any of my tricks, powers, or my real form..." Minato started, counting his rules with a finger, "I am, however, still capable of fighting and need to push everyone to break their limits, to surpass your boundaries and... You know, dad stuff."

"Meaning he and I will teach you girls martial arts and focus a bit more on Will." Kushina added.

"Was this what you meant with being afraid!?" Taranee asked Naruto.

"You got no idea..." he replied with a nervous layer of sweat on his brow.

"It's you, five magical pixies, and me, son." Minato said and cracked his knuckles, "Don't hold back just because I am."

In a blur of speed, it begun, "He's gone!" Cornelia yelped in shock.

"Cover your blind spot!" Naruto shouted as he turned to guard the girls' backs.

The girls heard a familiar voice which brought a shiver down their spines, "Good idea, but too slow." They saw Naruto try to parry a side-kick from his father with his bat and get sent rolling back to an unceremonious stop, ending ass over teakettle!

Will tried to be brave and took a cheesy kung-fu pose, "I-I'm warning you, I know karate and now I feel the full power of the Heart coursing through me! Try anything and I'll punch you to the sun!"

Minato had a dull look, "I'm a kitsune, we're tricksters by nature. I know a bluff when I see one." He punched the ground away, creating a shockwave which made Will fall flat on her back.

Taranee panicked, "Sorry!" she exclaimed and launched a fireball at him!

"Don't be." Minato said and casually swung his leg in an arc, his roundhouse kick cutting the flames and dispelling the ball of fiery damage.

"Oh crud..." the spectacled girl was glad she had gotten to the bathroom at Hay Lin's.

"Try this!" Irma shouted, launching a spiraling jet of water.

Minato took a textbook karate stance, left arm up, right fist at his stomach, legs widely spread, and gave a simple yell as he stomped forward and punched the water, "ORA!" like his son did with fire, he did with a torrent of water. He blasted back the water, shocking the brunette.

"Hey, mister, try this!" Hay Lin exclaimed and took a deep inhalation which she blew out in a small tornado. Minato's feet slid across the floor while he brought up his arms to keep any dust from going to his eyes...and then felt himself stop completely.

"I got him!" Cornelia said as vines shot out to wrap around his legs.

"Girls, I like these jeans." Minato said casually. Then he punched the ground once again, but Hay Lin's wind and his strike created a large cloud of dirt and dust blocking their view.

Irma felt a bit cocky, "Ha, it didn't work! Sorry, sir, but you lost! We got you!"

"Below you!" they all heard Naruto shout.

"What...?" Irma asked, then shuddered when a hand gripped her ankle. Looking down, she saw the white sleeve of Minato's jacket and his hand.

Seconds later, all five girls were buried neck-deep on the ground while Naruto and his father had a fight so intense one would think it was the end of the world. Naruto swung his bat around precisely and intelligently, using every move to try to get to his father. The man merely brought up his arms and legs to block every strike. Once the girls realized what happened, Cornelia growled.

"Did he really...? Ugh, that tears it!" she was mad, "Hey, old man, nobody messes with my hair!"

Minato was about to punch Naruto when a rock pillar shot out from the ground, "What the-" and it nailed him on the chin!

Putting everything into his swing, Naruto gyrated his hips, stomped forward hard enough to crack the floor, and shouted with all his might, "DERYA!"

His father rolled backwards to a stop, crashing into a wall, and Kushina whistled, "Not bad..."

Cornelia used her powers to free the others, Will looking ashamed of herself, "Thanks, guys..."

"Oh, the lesson's not over." All six teenagers tensed when Minato stood up with a bruised cheek, a blank expression, and a tired sigh. "Well, this part is." He rubbed his cheek and smiled proudly at his son, "So, you got to hit your old man with all you had. It usually takes you more time to get me by outsmarting your father."

"Next time, it'll be without help." Naruto retorted with a determined smile.

"We've got a lot to cover." Minato said, looking at a dejected Will, "Worry not, you have our help."

"Just...how strong are you?" Will finally asked, "How can we even measure up to you?"

"Strong is just a word." Minato said with a calm smile, "I'm stronger than the me of yesterday and I'll be weaker than the me of tomorrow. Training my son is to make sure he grows strong faster than me. And, so far I'd say he's doing a good job."

"Mark my words, old man, I'll surpass you before you realize it." Naruto confidently smirked with his bat slung over his shoulders.

"Alright, we've all had our fun." Kushina said, "Will, you will be trained by my son and husband to fight in hand-to-hand combat. As for the other four of you, girls, I can teach you how to control your elements better than my husband. And, of course, Naruto will be there for every session."

Naruto easily saw her plan, "Stop trying to hook me up!"

"Shush, I shall never get old, but a woman still wants to see little ones in her life!"

"You're having a mid-life crisis already, you crazy woman!"

"Shut it!" Kushina's hair turned into what looked like serpents or, more accurately, fox tails, "I'm a delicate young lady in her prime! I deserve a little happiness when thinking of the future!"

Will turned to Minato, "Are they always like this?"

"Nah, this is them being polite..." the fox man answered with a downcast look.

X-X-X-X-X

Meanwhile, unknown to the girls, a man sat at a throne in a dark kingdom. He cut a tall, dark figure in a majestic black robe, with long and flowing platinum blonde hair, a goatee, a pale aristocratic face, and an almost ever-present scowl. If one were to look for the word dark magician, he'd be at the dictionary with a picture of himself.

His assistant who hissed as they informed him, "The Heart has awakened, Prince Phobos."

"Is that you say true?" Phobos asked, "What of the Guardians, then? What does your crystal ball tell you of the scourge to my goals? Has it finally reached them or are they still ignorant?"

At his command, the figure held up a crystal ball which showed Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia and Hay Lin panting raggedly, "No need to worry, sire, they are but girls. However," the crystal ball then showed Kushina and Minato, "the ones with them are no joking matter. If anything, watch out for the woman and the man. However, it is their son you'll have to be most careful of." An image of the blond was shown as he and Will practiced katas with her throwing around punches and him deflecting them, "If they awaken the full potential of those girls..."

"I see...a thorn to be cut off as soon as possible." Phobos commented, then narrowed his eyes, "And what of the rebel leader? Is he properly taken care of?"

His assistant hissed in laughter, "Worry not, sire, I am quite good at getting answers out of people. I just had to show him the wonders of some of my...experiments."

Raising to his feet, the assistant basked in the light of the flames. Purely white skin with purple marks under yellow snake eyes, long black hair, and a beige cloak with a green trim. He looked as much as a snake as he did a human being, if he could be called that.

Phobos smirked, "Well done, Orochimaru."

Bowing politely but devotedly, his assistant took the praise, "It is all for you, milord, I'm just here to see the result of what all the magic will be in the body of a man."

"Soon..." Phobos replied with a wider smirk, throwing his head back in deep, dark laughter.

**X-X-X-X-X**

And that's my rap!

Yes, I'm changing some things. Sorry to all those of you who are fans of Caleb, but the guy isn't in a fun resort. Well, it is fun for Orochimaru, not for him.

Swordslinger out!


	3. Dating Destiny

I OWN NOTHING

Who is your favorite W.I.T.C.H. girl? You can say Elyon or Susan if you feel like it. For me, I'd say Irma in personality and Hay Lin and Taranee in looks – Cornelia and Will in looks in their Guardian form.

**BIG THANKS to Harpra**, the new beta-writer for this fic. He helped here and there and gave me some very good ideas. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**X-X-X-X-X**

The slamming of the jail door rang out through the dungeons deep below Phobos' castle. Frigid iron scrapped against itself as the only easy way out the nightmarish prison was once more sealed. With the noise of the solid lock only eclipsed by the soft footsteps of the pale man who made this place so feared.

Many captives scurried farther into the cells to avoid the serpentine gaze of the man. These where the most well behaved of the guests, those smart enough to give up hope and willingly spend the rest of their days huddled in fear. They could at least feel caress of the stale wind through the putrid hallways. Unlike the ones deeper down the pit, who were about to receive as visit from Orochimaru.

The rebel leader, Caleb, was kept in one such vault, or at least what was left of the man. While his body remained in one piece, his mind sometimes struggled to believe that he was still alive. The brown haired fifteen-year-old boy was chained down, face up on an operating table. A hateful mercy for his back, still raw from the last time he was visited. At least it wasn't the wall again.

Stripped of all but a simple pair of pants, leaving his once tan skin to slowly pale under what little light there was. His body aching for a full breath, as this far down the air was so stagnant that his own ragged breaths are enough to send the flames dancing on few rotten smelling candles that lined the walls.

The click of a door announced Orochimaru's arrival, the man, if you could call him such, was even more pale than his patient. He walked to the table, a cup of water delicately held in his hand. Caleb looked at the vessel with suspicion.

"Don't worry, mister rebel leader," the snake man hissed out as pleasantly as a cobra could. "I have no intention of poisoning you, dear Caleb."

"Lies, and don't...huff...call me that..." the boy nearly hacked and wheezed.

"Adding anything to your body now might ruin the experiment."

A hollow comfort for the teenager as the cup was placed nearby, "If you think I'd...huff...give out a friend of mine...for a cup of...hack! Water, you're...sadly mistaken..." Caleb's dry throat and the cold steel choker didn't help him intimidate the man.

"Oh, but I need to keep you somewhat healthy as my guest..." he was patted by the white-skinned man and glared while the prince's assistant chuckled at the futility of his anger, "One last chance," Orochimaru said, bending down to the captive. "Where are your rebel friends?"

The silence that followed was soon broken as the pale man began the procedure. Producing bright, colorful vials, the dark-haired man pulled out tubes with long syringes. Caleb only got to feel a piece of cotton dab some alcohol on his skin before being rudely stabbed. His arms, chest and other soft, non-vital areas were swiftly nailed by the needles. At least his bindings made sure he didn't move, although even then Orochimaru was skilled enough to hit the right spot.

"Grr...what're you..." Caleb croaked, hatefully glaring as the man set the vials up on an IV stand.

"I need you healthy for a while, boy, it doesn't mean I can't see if my new formula can't get those answers the prince craves," Orochimaru chortled to himself. "Please, feel free to enjoy this brand of cocktails. I'm trying to figure out which can keep a body alive and properly fed... I shall be back."

After that, the boy was left to breathe, for it was all he could do after the awful experiments. A tray of vials, each filled to the top, lied next to his head. No amount of intelligence was needed to know what'd happen once the pale man returned when the stuff pumped into his veins ran dry. There were several that Caleb would have liked to have rasped out as Phobos' assistant left, but he chose to remain silent. His green eyes watched as his captor left. An edge remaining in his tired gaze.

Phobos himself was pleased by the methods, so he greeted his assistant with a grin while seated on his throne, "Orochimaru, what of our little friend? Is he ready?"

"Patience, sire, he shall talk sooner than later. My new concoction has worked so far, but I need to keep him alive..." he hissed and clutched an arm, "This body of mine is slowly..." he growled at the end, but smiled nonetheless with his eyes shut, "Sorry, sire. Just allow this to me. Grant me the wish I have of seeing all magic in the universe become a single man's own."

"So far your methods have worked wonders..." Phobos said as he stood up, walking down the steps of his throne, "However, the Guardians and that family you mentioned are all that stand in my way. I am impatient regarding your plans for them."

"Kukuku...worry not, my prince." Orochimaru stood up, "I have in mind one of my own to test them, see their limits. If the Heart chose those girls, they must have potential worth seeing. And I'm willing to bet my existence once fully awakened, it shall grant you far more power than it ever did to all of its previous owners."

Phobos smirked at the idea, "Do tell."

"Destiny or not, that family is willing to train and help those girls unleash their power... And to use the power of their own spirits, their souls, and perhaps even learn of the true nature and might of the spirits... Ah, sire, it'd be a limitless pool of magic. We must deal with the family first."

Phobos certainly liked that, if his wide smirk matching Orochimaru's snake-like maw said anything.

X-X-X-X-X

Meanwhile, all five Guardians stumbled along to their table at the cafeteria like the undead.

Will was the first to be vocal, "I can't even lift my own soul... How am I lifting this tray?"

Irma grunted with shut eyes, "Family bonding is hardcore with those guys."

Taranee whimpered, "Can we call in sick? Maybe say we'd date... No, not that desperate."

Cornelia groaned, "That woman is downright dangerous, scary, and...just downright crazy."

Hay Lin sighed deeply, "Grandma says it'll do us good... But my blisters have blisters."

Dropping their trays unceremoniously on the table at the same time, they let their bottoms hit the seats as dryly and dully. If not for the fact they valued their clothes and wouldn't stain them, most if not all of them would've face-planted their food. Will's eyes failed to remain up, her hands didn't stop shaking, and parts of her body she didn't know existed ached. The rest of the girls had similar cases of exhaustion. Taranee looked like she needed a good sleep, Irma had forgotten to do he hair properly, Cornelia wore flat shoes instead of heels, and Hay Lin looked ready to cry.

"Trust me, it can and will get worse." Naruto said as he passed by them.

"Such encouragement...to find a new dimension to live in." Irma replied and dropped her head on the table after moving her tray out of the way of her face.

Calmly taking an apple, he tossed it up and down as he spoke, "You get used to it, eventually." The apple was bit into at the end of his sentence while he remained up.

"I didn't think learning and doing karate in slow-motion would be so tiring before the big moves." Will commented.

"At least you didn't have to find ways to lift boulders and juggle them." Cornelia shot back.

"I prefer that over dodge magic chains without the ability to fly." Hay Lin's voice mumbled sleepily.

"Perhaps if it wasn't as awkward, it'd be less tiresome, mental exhaustion is a thing." Taranee said, barely restraining a yawn at the end.

"Trust me, my dad and I are trying to get her to stop." Naruto whispered, not wanting anyone else to hear the topic.

Cornelia aimed a finger at his face, "Listen, if you get us some time to relax and everything then I can present you to a good friend of mine. She's sweet as honey and can get your crazy mom to cease all insane hooking up plans. You'd need a longer hair, though."

"I could get a ponytail if... What am I saying?" he grunted and rubbed his face with a palm, "Sorry."

Irma had the perfect reply, "If you're desperate enough to get a wig, it shows your mom needs a therapist...or a trip to a heavily padded room."

"I don't need a wig when... Never mind..." he shook his head and slid his hand down his face, "Just let me deal with her and find a proper girl on my own."

"If I ever get to her age, will I be as bad?" Will asked, furrowing her brow, "Although, mom is more focused on getting my grades up than getting me hitched."

Naruto gained a blank expression, "I envy you, Japan treats studying like religion, meaning either I keep my grades up or my parents find a way to make what you experienced a walk in the park."

"Wait..." a half-sleepy Hay Lin started, "You said you don't need a wig. Why's that?"

Cornelia frowned, "Out of all we said, that's what you..." she blinked in interest when her hair got into her view, "Okay, now I have to know."

"Eat and I can show you later." Naruto said after having finished his apple mid-talk, eating it whole. "See ya."

Every girl looked at each other for a second, "So, meeting at the Silver Dragon for ideas on how to make Mrs. Uzumaki drop her favorite topic?" Will commented after getting somewhat more awake.

"Aye..." her four new friends said just before they all had their faces on the table.

Leaving the guardians to a good rest, Naruto walked around the cafeteria until he spotted a girl. He took a wild guess and assumed she was Cornelia's friend. A petite, rather short blonde girl with her hair done in dual braids hanging on the front of her shoulders. Puberty had yet to get started, but a certain innocence and cuteness to her fair features, pale skin, and slim waist made him look. None of that mattered, though, because he could tell something was off just like he did with the quintet.

"Wait...three...six..." he mumbled as he counted, "Aren't there supposed to just be five?"

Holding his chin in thought, he pondered what to do…

The best option would be to go and get Hay Lin's granny to tell him what was going on, given that she seemed to know the most about the girls. Of course, he favored the easiest route, which was to just ignore the girl, and pray that his mother never found out about her. But that was, unfortunately, an unrealistic hope. Especially now that the girl had noticed him.

Her large grey eyes locked onto his form with curiosity. Before she looked away to gaze at Cornelia, who had yet to raise her head from the table. When the girl turned back to Naruto, he had taken the opportunity to disappear into a crowd, leaving her with a confused look on her face. Obviously, that had been Cornelia's good friend, the batter thought.

Keeping watch of the girl from a distance as she moved to check on the earth guardian, she was definitely the cute noble type, "Did the new guy just look our way? I think I saw him around." Even her voice sounded sweet.

"Huh?" Will asked, bringing her head up from the table sleepily. "Who, what...?"

"Are you girls...feeling sick or something?" the braided girl asked with worry.

"Elyon, give me five hours after class to sleep this off..." Cornelia muttered. "I'm exhausted. We just went through... Uh..." she was so tired she just realized she had been about to spill the beans.

"A new gym trial!" Irma beamed awkwardly at her lie, forcing herself to remain perky, "See, there's this gym we found but it turned out to be too hardcore. Definitely do not go there!"

"Wow, it must have been quite the workout if you all look so dead... Wait, did you all go together?" Elyon was somewhat sharp, at least smart enough to realize that little oddity.

"It was some sort of promotion-thingy..." Taranee lied tiredly, "Bring friends for a free trial..."

"Don't come anywhere near us or that place, it's going to kill you..." Hay Lin mumbled before softly caressing the table like one would a pillow.

"At least you girls got the hang of things quickly." Will said dejectedly.

"Sheesh, now I kinda feel bad for what we put them through..." Naruto muttered on his hiding spot before a sad idea came to him, "Wait, is mom trying to...? Oh, she's good..." he had a dread-filled face once realization set in.

X-X-X-X-X

"Kushina, you are trying to make our son bond with those girls by helping to lessen their training, aren't you?" Minato asked his wife after the two drove outside the city to an abandoned cave near the sea away from any bystander's line of sight.

Brushing him off with a wave of her hand, she just smiled when entering the cave, "I want to see a couple grandchildren soon, can you blame me?"

Minato became Kurama, sighing as he walked into the cave, "Honey, he's still a kit- Er, kid."

Pouting like a little girl, she looked away with her arms crossed, "Well, so were we when we dated."

"Both of us had to deal with evil spirits and your fighting. Kids should have fun, not get into that kind of scenario. We are lucky we get along as well as we do after the adrenaline died down."

"I know, but..." Kushina sighed miserably, dropping her arms when her husband's tails hugged her in a comforting embrace, "I...I still miss them. Mom, dad, grandma... I really wish I could've seen a lot more of my relatives, perhaps get siblings and-"

"Dear, you got me and Naruto, and we're not going anywhere." Minato said in his human form, "I do want you to take it easy. It'll happen when it happens, and you can have a big family again."

"Yup!" Kushina forced herself to smile brightly, "And hey, those girls better take my advice and do their best to get with my boy! He's gonna make a great hubby as well as an awesome dad thanks to us, isn't he!?"

"Yes, but in due time..." Minato took another breath and looked around, "Well, it seems this place is good enough. I can fit and fight here without much trouble."

"Good, then we can begin training newbies and planting the seeds of love!" Kushina beamed with genuine joy.

Her husband sighed again, "I...I tried, son..." he mentally begged Naruto for forgiveness.

Back at Sheffield Institute, Naruto waited for the girls to get out of classes before stopping them. A single second was all they needed to realize what nightmare awaited them. None of them had the face of happiness and joy. Although Elyon had quite the curious cat expression.

"Hey, Elyon, right?" he asked suddenly, making her eyes widen with interest.

"Yes, that's me. Is something the matter?" she asked and mentally noted he was handsome. Not as tall as she liked her men, and he lacked on having longer hair, but he was cute. Better than her last boyfriend. Sadly, teenage drama didn't last at the age she had.

Telling himself all that and sighing inwardly, Naruto lowered his cap to hide his eyes and speak as naturally as he could, "Is there any place you'd like to go out with me? You know, on a date." He'd lie if he said he hadn't tried to be charming, but it was hard to smile.

Elyon mimicked a fish out of water perfectly, "Wha..."

"Whoa, hold on!" Cornelia was wide-awake as she dragged Naruto by the shoulders, "Wait just five freaking seconds and explain yourself!" she was followed by the other girls, leaving behind an utterly confused braided teenager.

Being pushed into an empty room by five amazing-bodied teenage girls was any boy's dream once they reached puberty. Naruto questioned if that dream was a siren song and thus his life was about to hit a rock and sink. However, he knew what the problem would be, so he tried to calm them by raising his hands defensively and waiting for the questions.

"Aren't you the guy who didn't want to date anyone?" Will asked in confusion. "Why the change of heart?"

"Listen, I have some knowledge in magic and your friend Elyon seems human...but she isn't."

"Hey, you're talking about my childhood and best friend!" Cornelia exclaimed with narrowed eyes.

"Wait, don't go all momma bear on him yet, Corny." Irma told her with a helpful, soothing shoulder patting, "If anything, he could be smelling some... I don't know, magic garlic from her breakfast."

"That, and I think I can kill two birds with one stone." Naruto started.

"Go on and don't say anything I don't like." Cornelia warned him.

"Let's make sure Elyon isn't some sort of sixth mythical Guardian who not even Granny Lin knows, or if she's traced by some spirit of sorts, alright?" Naruto hated the way Cornelia looked distraught, she must really love Elyon. Thus, he explained himself, "The way I see it, she's got some powerful, if not downright terrifying connection to magic. Maybe she's got an amulet or is secretly like me. I'm just going to see what's happening with her."

"By making out with her?" Will asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Give me some credit, I'm not like most human boys." Naruto argued, although he had questionable reading material... "Okay, I am a boy, but I know my priorities."

Taranee thought it over, "I think I see the logic, he can break up with her if nothing's wrong. Elyon's had some...bad calls when choosing dates already. Um, no offense."

"None taken... I actually deserve that." Naruto looked up at the ceiling, as if questioning his life.

Hay Lin got impatient, "So... what's the second bird you're hitting with that imaginary stone you just carry around?"

Looking away, the blond sighed, "If I go out with a girl, mom may give you girls a break."

Irma clapped and then did finger-gun gestures at the blond, "I like this idea, I love it, and I will marry it! Yes to it all the time!"

Cornelia glared at her, "Oh sure, it's not your best friend dating some magical fox."

"Hey, you can check on us and I'll keep you informed of anything I find, I swear." Naruto said with his hands up, "Also, you could pretty much tell her I'm dating one of you at the same time as her."

Will was surprised by such honesty, "Whoa, you're really willing to get THAT hated?"

"I hunt down evil spirits, my reputation's going to get highs and lows as I go." Naruto retorted with a deadpan expression.

Irma looked at her friends, "Elyon could use a boyfriend after the fiasco with the last one... Also, I'd love less hints from Mrs. Uzumaki on what our ideal guy is."

Cornelia groaned, unhappy but seeing the point, "Fine, but if you break her heart, I will bury you in the center of the planet." Naruto was unfazed by her glare – his mother's was worse – but nodded.

Hay Lin sighed sadly, "Aw, it feels bad doing this, but...hm, maybe it could be like one of those movies where they fall in love."

Taranee added her vote, "Questionable means, but the result should be worth it... I hope."

Will looked at Naruto and nodded, "You're breaking the news to your mom. Now, what to tell Elyon regarding you dating her? Wait, will she even accept?"

Naruto furrowed his brow, "Don't girls just say yes to dates?"

Every Guardian stared at him in pure disbelief, "You've never dated anyone?" Will asked with some fear in her voice.

"You just ask, right?" Naruto replied cross-armed with a shrug.

"Oh goodness gracious alive, the plan's doomed." Taranee mumbled with her palm on her face.

Then there was a knock at the door, "Hey, new guy... Um... I don't know what Cornelia's telling you about not breaking my heart, but you look like a swell guy. Do you want to go to a sweet theme park you should check out?"

"Sure!" Naruto replied bashfully, blushing slightly.

Cornelia blinked in surprise, "Wow...and here I thought we'd have to grow your hair if she refused."

"Alright, so, while you guys train with my parents and...sort of break out the news to the-" Naruto was too happy in attempting to leave to mask his second intentions.

"Wait there, buster, you're not shoving this on our hands to waltz away." Irma glared.

Naruto deadpanned, "Do you want to skip your training for today? Mom's bound to chase me just to see what girl I'm dating and what I'm doing."

Irma opened her mouth to reprimand him, then furrowed her brow, "Oh, you're good."

Taranee wrinkled her nose, "Are you sure she won't be mad she didn't get the news from you and will...you know, make the training harder?"

Cornelia sighed, "That woman's been trying to force us to date her son. She's going to be ecstatic."

Hay Lin felt a realization hit her like a truck, "Wait, is that why you don't want to tell her? Are you too...shy to do it?"

Naruto blushed and turned away, "Oi, that woman's been pestering me since I was a kid to meet a cute girl. Give me a break."

Will blinked in surprise, "Wow, this is...surprisingly more innocent than I thought it'd be."

Cornelia sighed, "Alright, just so you know. Elyon loves sketching, is fond of animals, and thinks our world could be better with more movies starring Vance Michael Justin."

"The latter's all Corny here." Irma corrected the blonde girl. "Just impress her with your skills. Trust me, we girls do like a guy who is good at what he loves."

Hay Lin got excited, "Oh, since we're giving advice, perhaps I can get you new threads!"

Taranee decided to be the voice of reason, "Girls, shouldn't we let Elyon see her date already? She's bound to be suspicious of all this talking in secret."

"Fine." Will agreed, "Just call us if anything happens that you need help with, Naruto. Um, do you have a cellphone or are you still unsure of how technology works?"

"Hey, I'm not that clueless." Naruto said and pulled out his phone.

"Just making sure, sorry, Mister Magic Fox."

"Magic Fox?" Elyon decided then and there to get in.

"Oh, that's his...um, nickname from back home, right?" Hay Lin said with a forced grin.

"Actually, it was." Naruto added with both eyebrows up in amusement, "Completely in English, too."

Elyon smiled at him, blushing slightly, "Cool, I've never dated a baseball player before, so now I can know why it's so much fun."

"Uh, sure. So, what's this theme park like?" he asked and offered the straw-haired girl his arm.

Elyon giggled – as did Hay Lin while her friends stared blankly – at his action of old-fashioned chivalry and took his arm with a grin, "Is this your first time asking a girl out?" the braided blonde asked.

"Yeah..." he admitted embarrassedly, his eyes shut tight.

"Come on, I'll show you the steps." Elyon blushed as she felt a more than decent amount of muscle under his long-sleeved t-shirt.

X-X-X-X-X

Beneath Phobos' castle but well above the screams from the dungeon, Orochimaru's yellow eyes stared through a crystal ball at a particular fox. His tongue snaked past his pale lips in contemplation. With the blond separating himself from the new Guardians to go off with a different girl the snake man had the perfect time to strike.

Standing, he started making his way toward a large cavern where loyal minions were allowed to gather. Being underground, the massive room was dark and cold. With the rough walls shaped by hand and horn, and the only light coming from the few candles on the occasional table. The perfect place for the depraved and vicious to gather and find nothing in common with each other.

As Orochimaru stepped through a simple door into the room only the shout of "shithead" alerted him to an incoming body which was slammed into the wall beside him. It brought the whole room to a startling silence in terror that the snake man may become angry.

Reaching down towards the struggling body, Orochimaru grabbed his long orange hair and pulled him upwards, locking eyes with his subordinate, "Jirobo, how good are you at blending in with humans?" the snake pleasantly hissed.

"I can do it, Lord Orochimaru." Jirobo, a massive humanoid monster, replied.

"Good, because here is your target...either capture or dispose of this boy."

Regarding said boy, he was carrying a corndog. Naruto enjoyed the theme park and its stands. The petite blonde at his side did, too. Partly because she was getting to go where she wanted for free, but she appreciated the gesture. Plus, he wasn't bad looking or mean and he was the main topic at school. Getting to know him felt too fun, plus, there was something odd about him as if calling her.

"Fried dough covering some mystery meat... You Americans really like this stuff?" he asked his date.

"Don't tell me you don't have stuff this amazing where you're from." Elyon said teasingly.

"Well, there is one..." Naruto bit into the treat, "Hm, not bad, but it doesn't beat takoyaki."

"Taco yucky?" she echoed with an eyebrow higher than the other.

"Octopus put in little bite-sized balls made of baked dough... If you get the right sauce, it's freaking amazing." Naruto explained as the two ate their food.

"Sounds odd and yummy..." Elyon sighed, "Makes me wish my parents and I traveled a lot more."

Attempting to not narrow his eyes at the revelation, he tried to be smart, "Sounds a lot like me... I eventually left a little island when I was young. Maybe you'll do so one day or another."

"You lived in an island? How was that? Did you fish a lot? Play in small leagues?" Elyon asked with a curious smile.

Rubbing the back of his head, he tried to not tell her too much, "It was small but my parents were there, and we visited the mainland often. It wasn't until I saw my first baseball game with them that I wanted to be a player. I even got a baseball signed by their ace batter."

"Oh, how good are you, then?" she asked and then mock-winced, "Because I did have an ulterior if not at all evil motive to get you here." Pointing to a stand, she aimed her index finger at a particular toy, a stuffed white bunny with a cute golden crown, "See that plushie?"

"The one with the ears down?" he asked, getting a nod.

"Yup, I've wanted it for a while but I swear the game's rigged. How good's your throwing arm to see if they are pulling our legs or not?" she smiled brightly, making him chortle and roll around his right shoulder with a confident smile.

"One bunny coming up." Naruto approached the man behind the stand, "Hey, how much for a try?"

The man defined sleazy if one had a dictionary. Bushy curly mustache, a burly gut, and a clown suit complete with a red nose, a large green grin, and a flat hat. His beard, disheveled outfit and a smile which was perfectly acted didn't throw off Naruto. Like his father, being a kitsune meant he could call a bluff with ease.

Juggling out some baseballs, the man faced him, "Ah, welcome, customers, it's a dollar for 3 tries. But be warned, those are lead bottles there. They are heavy and need a skilled hand and a strong arm to be knocked over. Knock all the stacks bottles with one shot each and the bunny's yours."

"I can do that." Naruto said and put down a bill. Smirking, the clown handed him a baseball, which the boy weighted, "Heavier than regular baseballs..."

"Oh, it's not fun if it's not challenging, is it?" the clown smirked.

"Good luck." Elyon said.

Naruto tossed the ball up and down and eyed his target. Ten lead bottles stood to his right, another ten to his left, and yet another set in the middle. Knocking the clown had some trick up his sleeves, Naruto decided to use regular human strength for the first toss. He didn't get into a stance, he just stood in front of the targets and tossed it like a kid would.

And the baseball bounced off, though it made the bottles wobble, "Wow, nice try, but put a little if not much more force behind your arm."

Rolling around his shoulder, Naruto looked at the clown, Elyon frowning, "See, I told you..." she said in a soft whisper so the man didn't hear her.

Smiling at her, he got confident, "Don't worry, I'm learning." Naruto tossed up another baseball in the air, caught it, and tossed it with a plain amateurish throw.

He nailed one at the tip, "Oh, close enough, you nearly knocked the top one!" Hearing the clown cheer didn't slow down Naruto, who tossed the last ball at the lowest bottle of one set and saw all ten shake before returning to their place, "Sorry, boy, I did tell you they were heavier than regular bottles. Say, I like you... Do you want to try again? I'll even give you a tip."

"No need." Naruto told him and tilted down his hat, hiding his blue eyes in the shadows of its trim.

After handing the man another dollar, he had Elyon worrying, "Hey, no need to go all out for me."

"Don't worry, I won't need a third try." Naruto smirked, bringing up his knee like a professional.

The clown chuckled, unconcerned by the development, "Ah, a pitcher, well, this should be fun, ah-hyuck." Then he stepped on a button under the counter, activating a powerful magnet under the bottles which kept all of them in place.

Shifting his body as he twisted his hip, loosened his wrist, and threw faster than a bullet, Naruto's throw shocked Elyon and the clown as wind whirled around him! "URYA!" the blond shouted at the top of his lungs and blasted all 10 bottles from one set like a shotgun would regular plastic ones.

"What the what..." the clown stuttered on his next words while Naruto casually grabbed another baseball and made it spin around his wrist with a flick of his thumb.

"DERYA!" and another 10 bottles flew into the air, "YOSHA!" his battle cries got Elyon excited as the last set of lead targets were knocked like bowling pins.

"Yeah! One bunny, please!" the girl cheered, looking at the clown with a truly joyful face.

"Um, yes, here...you go..." the stunned clown said as he handed her the prize.

And, off to the side...

"Shouldn't we let your son have fun?" Hay Lin asked the eccentric redhead while seven pairs of eyes had trouble remaining behind a bench, a trash can, and a lamp post.

"Oh shush, we're training you on stealth!" Kushina said, proudly smirking, "If you can follow my boy without him noticing, you're golden. Also, it's this or my special training."

The Guardians sweated at the falsely sweet smile she gave them as her hair moved, "This, please!"

"That's what I thought." Kushina beamed, her hair lowering itself.

"How did I get roped into this?" Minato asked with a sigh.

"Now I'm sure we sold Elyon's soul..." Will muttered.

"No, you haven't." Kushina said, getting slightly serious, "He's got a good nose. She has something hidden in plain sight."

"Unlike us..." Cornelia sighed, but then looked at the two, "Although, he's doing something right... It's the first time I see her so happy with a boy."

Irma had a vague recollection of the past, "I thought she was the shy, socially awkward type, but she did date someone, right?"

Taranee decided to give a voice to timid people, "It's not...unusual for introverts to like to talk to a person they feel comfortable with. Plus, he's trying..."

"Little jealous you didn't take your chances?" Kushina asked with an amused smile and a glint in her eyes, to which Minato sighed upon seeing Taranee blush.

"Honey, please, we're breaking all rules of being parents doing this."

"Just keep your distance, our son has yet to increase his radius for detecting magical entities."

As for the odd dating duo, Elyon brought them to her next choice.

"Funhouse?" Naruto asked as he read the name out loud.

"Yup, they're full of tricks and fun to get lost in." Elyon told him at their first stop.

The blond batter turned to her with a cocked eyebrow, "What's the difference between this and some haunted mansion?"

"In this there isn't any scary stuff." Elyon answered and pulled her date to the stand.

"Whoa!" he yelped upon nearing the place which had a massive clown face at the entrance. "What is it with you Americans and clowns?"

"Well, they are fun, if...creepy." Elyon admitted shyly. "They're supposed to make you laugh, but I know some people like being scared. Not my thing, but I kinda get why, though. This place is what I classify as the scariest thing I can handle."

"Any other scary things you'd like to share?" he asked interested.

"Why? To say the cliché line where you keep me safe from them?" she asked, blushing slightly as she did hope he'd say it.

"Just to get to know you." Naruto half-lied and half told the truth, "Besides, I don't need to make a promise like that when I know I can do it."

Elyon giggled, gaining a pink tint on her cheeks, "You're such a dork, but a good dork. Come on, let's get in!" she beamed and dragged him again into the funhouse.

"Wow...good job, son." Minato whispered with some binoculars in his hands he won from the same stand Naruto got Elyon her new bunny plushy.

"Ugh, now I feel a little jealous." Cornelia admitted through clenched teeth and a blush, "Also, do not say anything, lady."

"Aw, but being a mom means I get to tease people." Kushina fake-whined and faux-pouted.

"Honey, don't...please don't." Minato pleaded.

"Fine."

X-X-X-X-X

"Interesting architecture, but I can work with it." Jirobo said.

Currently disguised as a tall, fat human teen with short tufts of orange hair on his mostly bald head, a round face with chubby cheeks, and simple clothes making him look like a punk. A black tank top with slacks and sandals, plus some aviator glasses. Human fashion wasn't his forte. Some people at the theme park gave him looks but tried to ignore him.

"After you." Naruto said to Elyon and she happily got into the rotating tunnel.

Narrowing his eyes, Jirobo clicked his tongue, "Tch... a spirit fox. It makes me sick how nonchalant he can be among humans." Placing a hand on the funhouse, he let the two dating blondes enter as the concrete merged with his bare skin, letting his fingers sink in.

"Come on, don't be scared!" Elyon cheered with a giggle when placing her hands on the tunnel to not fall.

Naruto sighed as he followed her, "I'm entering a giant clown's mouth for a girl." He said still at the entrance, and that was when he sensed Jirobo. "What?"

Turning, he saw the smirking servant of Orochimaru sink his arm further into the funhouse. "Hey!" Without thinking, Naruto was quick to dash in and grab Elyon bridal style in a single leap, "Whoa... Aren't you being a bit too forward?" she asked with a blush, not that she disliked the feeling or the surprise, "Wait, how'd you just...jump in?"

Naruto looked at the entrance as a set of swinging pendulums with inflatable clown heads swung back and forth behind them, "Sorry, I thought you...were about to fall." He lied while examining the tunnel for any sign that Jirobo could come in. Putting her down, he whispered, "Did you see a fat if not downright silly guy with a horrible hairdo?"

"Who?" she asked with increasing concern.

"Is there someone following you?" he tried to be clearer while she grew alarmed.

"No, was that guy you mentioned doing anything?" she asked timidly.

"I think we ought to get out before-" Naruto started, then got cut off.

"Don't bother." Jirobo's soft voice said from everywhere and nowhere in particular. "I got you right where I wanted you." At his command, the entrance was cut off by a rising wall.

"Ah!" Elyon yelped while Naruto kicked his own ass for getting her in trouble.

"How'd he...never mind, let's go!" he carried her bridal style again and ran to the next room.

Outside the funhouse, the Guardians plus Minato and Kushina watched the door get closed with a large latch made of concrete. None of the other visitors at the theme park seemed to make heads or tails of what happened but weren't as concerned. They just treated it as the attraction closing for renovations while the staff seemed just as confused as them.

"There he is!" Minato exclaimed, pointing at Jirobo.

Said orange-haired minion growled, "It seems I must go." He leaned into the wall as all seven rushed at him, sinking into it with a dull glare.

"Did that guy just turned the wall into mud?" Taranee asked and, cautiously, poked the concrete. It didn't move, "Wait, it's solid again."

Minato tapped it from the side with his knuckles, "No, he's using his own magic for the whole thing. He's turned the funhouse into as much a part of him as anything with rocks. Seems this is an ogre."

"An ogre as in big teeth, eat goats and get killed by valiant knights?" Hay Lin asked incredulously.

"Naruto can handle one, but if he's got magic like this..." Kushina bit her thumb, then turned to an also panicking Cornelia.

"Is that tub of lard does anything to Elyon, I swear I'll-"

"You can do something about it!" Kushina said, then turned to Will.

"Wait, shouldn't we train some more before fighting a monster?" the younger redhead asked with a slight shake to her voice.

"Sometimes you need to run before you walk, and this guy's magic could regenerate any holes we put into this place." Minato said trying to be both encouraging and telling them they had no choice.

"Magic pixie time it is, then." Irma said with a smile as nervous as the others.

As for Naruto and Elyon, the girl looked lost.

"Do you think he's a stalker or...?" she trembled at the bad thoughts crossing her head.

"Let's get you to a safe place first, then I can ask him a few things." Naruto said as seriously as one could in their situation.

"Just try it, it won't work." Jirobo said as he appeared in front of them at a room with rotating floor tiles. He walked slowly to them, menacingly, "In here you're as much a meal as you are just another random animal to get stomped."

"First of all...you look stupid with those shades." Naruto growled at him, putting Elyon behind him.

"Little punk..." Jirobo frowned but didn't do much more to convey being angry.

"Second, what do you want with her?" Naruto asked and extended an arm to shield the girl.

Jirobo smirked, a small crooked smile which just seemed spiteful with his blank face, "My name is Jirobo, and I have to make this short." Then he turned to the girl, "She's a bonus."

Suddenly, Naruto closed the distance between the two of them and punched him with all his might square in the gut, watching his fist sink in, "Elyon, run!" said girl clutched her bunny and did as told.

Once she was gone, Jirobo chuckled at Naruto, "Can't you sense it?" he asked mockingly. "I am not just here to fight you, I am devouring you."

"What?" Naruto asked before getting kneed. "Oof!" he grunted when being sent to roll five times, skidding on the last one to an unceremonious stop.

"You're trapped in a special spell of mine..." Jirobo explained as his body shifted, "I can eat away at any magic inside my rock prison. And you can't really compare to that girl. Soon, you'll be an empty husk." Said a towering red-skinned monster with a humanoid body, large tusks, and a wild mane of orange hair which went down to his waist. His outfit also changed into a pair of black shorts held up by a purple rope and a sleeveless purple tunic, somewhat reminding Naruto of a sumo wrestler.

"An ogre...no wonder you're so ugly." Naruto chortled as he got up.

"Little punk..." Jirobo frowned again.

"Also, eating magic?" Naruto asked and rolled around his neck, then stepped on the tips of his toes with a carefree grin, "That'd work if I was just a regular spirit, wouldn't it?"

"Hah, the only spirits who could survive this are far more powerful than you could ever hope to be even in your dreams." Jirobo kept that tiny smirk on his face and walked forward.

"I know five girls with as much magic as that, plus my dad." Naruto said with his hands up, holding up six fingers before raising a seventh, "My mom's human, though."

"What?" Jirobo asked with wide eyes.

"Meaning I don't run only on magic." Naruto smirked and threw his arm to the side, a cloud of smoke forming from his hand to summon his bat, "Nor do I need to rely on it to kick the continent you call an ass."

"Okay, I'm mad." The ogre said, getting into a sumo stance, "Let's see how good being a human gets you." Jirobo lunged at the fox and threw a right-handed palm strike with enough devastating force to make the air ripple.

"Ora!" and Naruto went low, stabbing Jirobo on the knee with his titanium bat.

Giving out a pained yelp, the red ogre fell on one knee with fire in his eyes, "Gah, you little punk, I will..." then, Jirobo gasped upon seeing him gone, "Where'd he..." he got up with a shaky leg, rage boiling inside him from the humiliation of the fox getting the best of him.

"So, you can feed off magic yet don't know where I am..." Naruto's voice came from everywhere as well as nowhere, annoying Jirobo. "Nah, I saw it. You can only affect rocks, right? Which is why this place helps me."

"Show yourself and stop being such a coward." Jirobo growled, eyes narrowed, "If you don't, I can and will find that girl and-"

"Bonk!" Naruto exclaimed as he landed on his shoulders and bashed him on the head like he was at the beach and Jirobo's skull was a watermelon. Hopping off, he disappeared again into the dark.

Jirobo started to get mad, "Argh, that little... Why is he so agile when I can feel his magic become a part of m-"

"Dum-dum!" Naruto cheered as he leaped into Jirobo's back, thwacked him twice with the bat, and jumped off to the shadows yet again.

"I'm looking right at you, how're you doing that!?" Jirobo finally snapped, showing his anger burst.

"Kick!" Naruto cheered, his heel smacking Jirobo's cheek, but the ogre retaliated with a backhanded punch, hard.

"Got you, you lit-" he exclaimed with a small smirk, then widened his eyes upon seeing a log fly and not Naruto's body, "Where'd he get t-"

"High kick!" Naruto cried joyously as he nailed the ogre on the face with another kick and vanished yet again. "Left!" he dashed at him with a swing of his bat, "Right!" then circled around him for yet another strike, "Center!" and finished it with a stab at his gut.

"That's it!" Jirobo snarled and brought up both palms.

"And you're-" before Naruto could come up with the most cliché of lines involving baseball, Jirobo smashed the ground with his hands, creating an earthquake which shook the entire park, "Whoa!"

Falling out of balance, Naruto rolled to a stop in front of the ogre, who smirked and lifted a heavy foot, "Stand down!" like a sumo wrestler, he brought down his heel to strike the ground, hoping to also smash Naruto's head like an overly ripe melon.

"Got him!" any happiness Jirobo could've had was swatted away when Hay Lin carried the blond in a bridal style, much to his shame.

"What are you... Is mom here!?" Naruto asked with some horror.

"How did you get here?" Jirobo asked furiously.

"Ew, talk about ugly with a capital ew." Irma winced at the sight of the monster.

"I'll-" Jirobo started, glaring at everyone. It was a short-lived moment of anger upon seeing the rest of the Guardians plus Minato and Kushina arrive. "Tsk, seems like I must retreat..."

"Oh no you won't!" Cornelia stomped the ground and threw a palm up, sending three rock pillars at the ogre which sent him flying into a wall. "You're not touching Elyon, you hear me!?"

"Gah-ha!" Jirobo cried breathlessly, the girl was furious.

"I am...seeing similarities between her and you, honey." Minato told his wife.

"If she's like this with a friend, I wonder what'd happen with kids." Kushina commented with a grin, "Anyway, hold him for me, girls."

"Like I'd let you use your-" Jirobo gasped, eyes wide, "My...my spell... Why... Why isn't it working? I am draining your magic... so why are you still up!?"

"First of all, the Heart and my husband are too much for someone like you." Kushina said and clasped her hands loudly in a sign, "Second, humans are made of things other than magic."

Biting her thumb, she scribbled a circle on the ground with her blood, terrifying Jirobo who tried to make a quick escape using the ground... Until being blasted by a jet of water by Irma.

Smirking, the brunette, kept applying pressure, "Stay there, big guy."

"I'm not going to fail Lord Orochimaru!" Jirobo snarled and hit the wall with the back of his fist. The entire funhouse shook again, making debris fall down.

"Girls, stay clear!" Taranee said, closing her eyes and pushing her hands up and forward, "Please work, please oh please work!" she felt the fire and instinctively let it go, blasting off all the falling bits of wood and concrete.

"Hey, you don't have to be so rude!" Hay Lin told Jirobo as he attempted yet another escape, took a deep inhale, and blew a gust of wind which pushed him back.

"Grr, to control your powers this well so soon... How...!?" he asked with gritted teeth.

"We've got good teachers!" Will said as she flew at him, a knee up. "And you tried to ruin our friend's date!" doing as she learned, she spun her body around with her knee up to her chest and extended her leg once her back was turned to Jirobo, sending her heel straight to his chin and rattling a couple teeth loose!

"Grrwaaaah!" Jirobo cried weakly as he fell backwards in a heap.

"Wow...did I...really do that?" Will asked, looking at her foot in shock.

"Painful hours of training do wonders." Kushina said as she finished a seal and slapped it with her palm, "Now watch and learn!"

Blood red chains erupted from the seal and coiled around the ogre, "AARGH!" he tried to break free, thrashing wildly to no avail, "What are you... What are you going to do to me!?" he asked with fear in his eyes while he wriggled in the chains.

"Putting you in a time out." Kushina said and pulled out a scroll from her dress.

"No... no, no, no! Don't you dare seal me in-" Jirobo started while Kushina calmly opened it.

"Goodbye." Naruto's mother beamed and threw the open scroll at him...only to see it cut in two!

"Is that supposed to happen?" Taranee asked fearfully, knowing the answer already.

"Someone's here!" Minato said and ran forward.

"Lord Orochimaru..." Jirobo sighed in relief as his body was freed from the chains.

Cornelia shrieked at the reason for his freedom, "Snakes! There's a ton of snakes!" she flew away at the sight of hundreds if not thousands of squiggling reptiles slithering around the seal to pull Jirobo out of sight.

"Kuhuhu, so these are the guardians..." said a hissing voice just when Minato caught a blade with his bare fangs, "And their teachers... Grr... You're quite strong for a fox..."

"Don't you dare attack my wife..." Minato growled in his full fox form, becoming Kurama made his glare harsher and terrifying.

It made the snake man step back with a long double-edged sword in hand, "I see fighting any of you together is a mistake. Today I've learned something... Especially of your little girlfriend, fox boy."

"Elyon?" Naruto asked, readying his baseball bat, "Hey, snake bastard, if you do anything to her-"

"Oh, worry not, it's not me who has plans for her." Orochimaru said as he revealed himself. "I am a mere spectator hoping she follows her role, and she has yet to grow into it."

"Don't you dare do the cliché and-" Kushina started, but the snake man walked back into the dark, and vanished as countless snakes slithered everywhere and nowhere.

"Like I'd let you run off!" Kurama snarled and clawed at every reptile he could. The five girls were shocked when Kushina's chains stabbed and slashed the other snakes like whips and spears. Alas, even if they tried to join and help, there were too many, and the man was gone.

"Okay, what just happened?" Will asked for everyone.

Cornelia had a more important question, "Is Elyon alright?"

Suddenly, they heard the girl come back, "Naruto, are you there!? Are you okay!?" all five girls flew up and out of sight while the parents hid in the shadows upon her arrival.

The whiskered boy sighed and rubbed the back of his head, hiding his bat behind his back, "I had a hell of a time with the guy." Breathing heavily, he tried to sell that he had a tough brawl, "I got him to run off. Seems like he was eager to take my wallet and yours to buy himself a meal."

"Did you beat him?" she asked, amazed that he could win against someone so much bigger.

"Hey, I said I don't need to make a promise when I can keep you safe." Naruto felt a little proud at his cheesy line. "Did you think he'd beat me? Besides, he was too cowardly to fight any further and ran off. Speaking of, let's get you and the bunny king home."

"Please." Elyon blushed much more than ever before, feeling lucky for more than one reason.

"That's my boy." Kushina silently fist-pumped in the darkness.

Irma deadpanned, "We have more pressing matters to deal with, lady... Like what the heck was pale and creepy going on about?"

Will clutched the Heart and looked at the others, "Whatever it is, we can't let him near Elyon..."

"Why did we get chosen for this...?" Taranee asked with a shiver, "It's not like we had a choice."

"I'm glad..." Cornelia said, balling her hands into fists, "It means we can fight back against that creep if he ever tries anything."

Hay Lin sighed, then turned to Minato, "Sir...I know we skipped our training with you, but... I want to do my best today."

Will nodded, "Yeah, if we're fighting more guys like that red dude, count me in."

All girls agreed, making Kushina smirk, and all eagerness vanished, "Good, because now we have to actually get serious."

**X-X-X-X-X**

And that's my rap!

Flimsy as it is, the reason Jirobo's magic-draining didn't work is that humans can live without magic and Minato/Kurama and the Heart are too powerful to be concerned about it.

Swordslinger out!


End file.
